Strain Reviews

Happy Hippo has a large variety of strains. While they're pretty much all great, I tend to stick to certain types which have become a staple in my kratom rotation.

When choosing strains on just about any site, it can be difficult to know exactly what type you're getting. Location and strain color doesn't always prove to be correct 100% of the time. I'm going to go over some of their best strains in detail to help guide you to what you're looking for. If you're looking for more vendor recommendations, CoastlineKratom is great too (full review in progress) or KratomKoala for larger amounts.


  • Consistency - Some places have strains which are great one month, but weak the next. Hippo is (at least in my experience) much more consistent with quality. Other than one time with a bali strain; bad batches seem to be pretty rare.
  • Samples - Getting free samples with each order has been a great way to try new strains that I may not have tried otherwise.
  • Labelled By Types - This is a big one, and hopefully more vendors will do the same. Some people only want to use kratom for one purpose like for energy, to help to relax, for productivity or whatever else. If you don't know the types, you could easily get the wrong stuff.
  • You Don't Need Much - Their kratom is stronger than many other places, so you don't need as much grams per dose. The prices are a bit above average however, but it helps keeps the price down. With some lower quality kratom, you may need up to 2 or 3 times as much.
  • Customer Service- Always friendly with quick replies for emails. Although to be fair, I find that (most) kratom vendors in general to be above average in the customer service department.


  • Overwhelmed - There's a lot of selection which could seem a bit overwhelming if you're just starting out. I would prefer if they just had their top 10 or so, but the organized strains types and 'Starter Packs' does help though.
  • Location - This depends on where you live, but Hippo is located in the United States. If you live on a different continent, shipping will be a fair bit more. Some will try Hippo (or other legit vendors) so they have a reference on what quality kratom is like, then order from more local sources. If you live in the UK or elsewhere and know a reputable vendor to recommend for you guys, let me know!
  •  Silly Names - I really don't mind the cute names, but some people don't like it. Fair enough. Fortunately , they do have all the technical information about each strain (like location and leaf type) in the description of each one.

After trying nearly all they have to offer, I've listed my favorite strains along with the description of speed, rating, effects and any notes I have:

Speed: Fast
Rating: 10/10
Effects: Energy - Productivity - Motivation
Notes: Clean and calm energy. A great uplifting boost to your day
and can be used for just about anything.

Speed: Moderate
Rating: 9/10
Effects: Energy - Sociable - Mood Boosting
Notes: Most balanced strain you'll find. Great introductory strain, as it
shows both sides of what kratom has to offer

Speed: Moderate
Rating: 8/10
Effects: Elated - Sociable - Content
Notes: Strong enough without being a slow strain. Sense of calmness
yet still has some energy to be productive

Speed: Fast
Rating: 9/10
Effects: Energy - Productivity - Motivation
Notes: The fastest strain out there (Maeng Da). Not only does this
give you energy, but the actual drive and enjoyment to get stuff done.

Speed: Slow
Rating: 10/10
Effects: Relaxing - Happy - Mood Boosting -
Notes: Most popular slow strain and a great way to unwind.
The best option for help relieving pain

That's It!

I hope you guys found this useful. I'm in the process of other vendor reviews, so let me know if you have any recommendations. One of the best reason for trying hippo is they also have phenibut and kava, which are both amazing by themselves (although kratom is my favorite, phenibut is a close second).

Of course if you ever have any questions, feel free to email me at gllrooster@gmail.com - I'm always glad to help.