Approach Anxiety Program (Eliminate AA in 5 Weeks)

May 18th, 2023

Eliminating approach anxiety is incredibly liberating. It has opened up the world to me. It provided myself the ability to meet new women at any time without the dreadful mental battle to stop me.

According to my smartwatch, even my heart rate doesn't spike much anymore when I do it.

It's helped in other areas of my life, too. The mentality of taking something head-on, despite seeming insurmountable, is invaluable. It's a "get up and go" mindset, where I've found myself taking stuff on before I have the chance to talk myself out of it.

This program is a refined version of the GoodLookingLoser AA version I contributed to over 10 years ago

It's a different world today, so it needed some modern updates. I've also had another decade of experience, helping me simplify the process to know what does and doesn't work.

The point of this program is to get you to where you don't need to actually go out approaching. This means that when you see some cute girl in your regular daily life, you can immediately go say high everytime.

However, going out and doing it is still a good idea and something you should do whenever you want a new woman in your life- it's just that you won't need to anymore.

Let's get started.

Roosters System for Eliminating AA

This approach anxiety program entails making a total of 75 approaches over 5 weeks. 

There are 3 types you will be making:

  1. Type 1: This is the simplest. You go to a girl and ask her a basic question like for the time or directions.
  2. Type 2: Ask a follow-up question to get another response. 
  3. Type 3: Your objective here is to get their number.

You'll begin with only doing the first type and then gradually switch to the second and then the third.

You can move on to the next if you complete the first or any week early. However- don't skip any weeks. It's essential to follow the weeks in order. The quantity you will have to make may cause you to find yourself struggling by the end.


  • Type 1: "Hey, do you happen to have the time?"
  • Type 2: "Do you know where Miko Sushi is?" "Do you know if it's any good?"
  • Type 3: "Hey. I know this is a bit different, but I thought you seemed cool and wanted to say hi."

We'll get into some more examples in the later weeks, along with how to move towards getting her number.

You Can "Upgrade" Your Approaches

You can upgrade them, meaning you can turn the first type into a 2 or 3 (if you feel up to it). Don't feel pressured to do it, as it's not at all necessary. You can't downgrade them, though, as each week will have mandatory requirements.

You're allowed to upgrade them because it helps you build off of success.

Building off of momentum and success is a big deal to reduce approach anxiety. This is essentially how this system works so well, as you're proving to your brain it isn't so scary. Only first-hand exposure and experience can achieve this, with each type providing you more.

Realistically, there may only be one or two instances where you feel confident enough to chat more and ask for her number. The important thing here is to know it's okay to do so (even encouraged) and to be prepared enough to do it.

I remember doing a similar type 1 drill awhile back... There was this one short cute blonde girl whose eyes seemed to glow when I started talking to her. It was like she was just waiting for someone like me to talk to her in the mall and was seemingly infatuated with my simple request of the time.

I recognized the opportunity here but didn't know what to do or say to get her number. Whether or not I would have done anything is unknown (as I had a ton of AA), but knowing how to would have certainly increased my chances.

Apart from experience and exposure, getting laid from a cold approach is a serious blow to your AA

Don't feel obligated to do it or disappointed if an opportunity passes you by. Just be prepared enough that if some girl seems super receptive, you at least have the means to get her number.

How To Get Her Number:

Being forward and direct with something simple is best, and it's how I've always done it. Ideally, you'll want to have a few back and fourths before asking for her number. Relying on your environment like with situational openers is great to naturally build on a conversation. Otherwise, say something along the lines of:

  • "This is a bit out of the blue but... would you want to hang out sometime?"
  • "I'm Ross by the way", ("I'm Jess"), "here's my number if you ever want to chat"
  • "Hey- we should chill sometime if you're ever down"

Your Focus is the Approach Itself, Not The Outcome

It's crucial to frame success by always understanding why you're there and what you're trying to accomplish.

This isn't about getting laid. It's about eliminating AA.

Get that out of your mind. It's a big step forward whenever you go up and talk to new women. Recognizing this is important as rejections can otherwise deter some from continuing.

Looking Great is Essential

While you should still be able to eliminate a large part of your AA if you haven't improved your appearance, you'll still struggle to get (legitimate) numbers. It can also be demotivating when very few are receptive, making the process seem more challenging than it needs to be. You want to have that unspoken rizz.

Looking great is imperative to your success. I can't emphasize this enough.

The hard truth is most guys reading this should put eliminating AA on hold and just be regularly hitting up the gym (if they're not already). Go face first into building a great physique. Obsess about it, then come back when you've made some changes and working out is habitual.

Check out 5 Reasons Why You Should (or Shouldn't) Be Cold Approaching for better knowing if starting this program is right for you.

Use Online Dating

Getting rejected is much less impactful when you're already regularly hooking up with women. 

This comes back to making sure you're a person who always looks their best, as having great pictures is the most crucial element of succeeding with online dating/dating apps. I have a new, updated version of my online dating guide releasing soon.

Don't Use Social Media to Meet Women

A lot of guys try to have some Facebook or Instagram "game" by messaging a lot of women through it. Using social media is dating dating is a pointless step everyone should avoid. It's going to be a waste. You'll have a much better ROI when sticking to Tinder or POF.

Guidelines & Rules

Here are some guidelines and important stuff to know:

  • If a week is difficult, redo the previous week. There's nothing wrong with doing that, but ideally don't do it more than once.The first step is going to be uncomfortable, so you need to just put your head down and get it done.
  • The timeline is flexible. It's okay if a week takes 10 or even 14 days to complete. Do try to not go over 2 weeks though.
  • You can't skip any weeks, but you can move ahead early.
  • Go to places with enough people and women around your age group. This could be at certain events, malls, or colleges. I break down all the typical common spots in cold approach tips & techniques
  • The type can be upgraded but not downgraded.
  • Know what you plan to say before each one. We'll get into that with each week.
  • Keep interactions on the shorter side. There's no need to drag a chat on when most of your interactions will fail.
  • Set up your profile and use dating apps alongside it.
  • Go for any attractive women around your age (within 5 or 7 years likely best).
  • Don't overthink it. Just do it. You can do whatever mental gymnastics you were about to do afterward.
  • Don't be touchy. While cold approach is far from dead, I wouldn't recommend touching a lot like other AA drills have you do. Still great to flirt, though.
A man following the approach anxiety program.

Week 1: Starting the Drills

Goal: 5 of at least Type 1.

Location: Just about anywhere. Since we're only doing 5 this week, you should be able to find enough opportunities at any typical spot.

Obstacles: Expect the first one will be the most challenging (as always), but the rest should flow easier.

Tip of The WeekSince appearance is so important, you might as well head to the mall to make some approaches while you buy some solid, new well-fitted clothes.

NotesJust asking a simple question like for directions/time can really help your anixety infield. It's about getting used ot it. Your brain is really good at creating 100 reasons why you shouldn't talk to any women. 

Fortunately, with each one, that internal voice gets a little quieter and less effective as you prove to yourself that saying hello to girls isn't so scary.

Example: "Hey, do you know if there's a TD bank around here?"

Week 2: Starting Conversations

Goal10 total. 5 of Type 1 and 5 of Type 2.

LocationA good spot for your first type 2 can be at the library (or bookstore). You can incorporate a situational opener, like asking her about the book she's reading or a genre she's looking at. I have a whole post on Meeting Women at The Library as well.

ObstaclesRely on the suggested openers/lines if you're struggling. Situational openers can be great as they're custom and natural. Still, remember they have the potential to cause you to overthink it and freeze up.

Tip of The WeekStarting with the easier type (in this case, type 1) is ideal. Doing one as a practice each week is not a bad idea to help you get into the rhythm of things.

Notes: By now you should be feeling more comfortable and confident talking to women. Don't let up! The upcoming difficulty spike may knock you on your butt- so just be aware that it may happen and persist through it.

Example"Hey, sorry bother, but is that Project Hail Mary?" "What you thought of it so far?"

Week 3: First Cold Approaches

Goal15 total. 10 of Type 1 and 5 of Type 3.

LocationAs you're starting with type 3, you'll want to have a lot of opportunities to do them. If you haven't hit up a mall yet, go to one now.

Obstacles: Your first full cold approach will be the most difficult of any other. If all you manage to do is one all day, it's still a success.

Tip of The WeekWhen you see a girl you'd like to chat with, you should begin moving toward her within 5 seconds. The longer you take, the likelier you'll talk yourself out of it.

NotesRemember you'll be going for the number as well. If this week was a struggle and you're not sure how you'll handle the next, there's nothing wrong with redoing it. Every drill diminishes AA bit by bit, so you'll be better by the end.

Example"This is kind of random, but I thought you're kind of cute and wanted to say hi"

A man cold approaching at a market.

Week 4: Ramping it Up

Goal: 20 total. 5 of Type 1, 5 of Type 2 and 10 of Type 3.

Location: Typical spots, with malls or colleges being preferable. Any events or hitting up a popular beach can work too.

ObstaclesThis is where most people fall off. A flip side to building momentum is that it can be discouraging when your motivation returns to a baseline. Keep persevering. Learn how to better deal with cold approach rejection.

Tip of The WeekYou don't have to complete all of them in one day. It can be difficult enough by itself, but it's also good to space them out so it's something you're just consistently doing.

Notes: Type 3 will feel a bit different overall. Make sure you're prepared by using the best cold approach openers to have something to rely on. You should start being able to read them and gauge receptiveness better by now.

Example"Hey, how's it going?" "What are you up to?"

Week 5: Getting Your First Numbers

Goal: 25 of Type 3.

Location: Hit up a different mall or university if it's an option, as otherwise you may start seeing the same people.

Obstacles: Don't feel discouraged if you only get one or two done. It's common. However, it should be happening less by week 5.

Tip of The WeekGo with a friend. This is the only "crutch" that I recommend actually using. It may not be as effective as just relying on yourself, but having a buddy there can make it much more fun. Try to at least have the last dozen done by yourself, though, as you don't want to rely entirely on them.

NotesThis is it. By the end of this week, you should have one if not multiple numbers by now and currently chatting with the girls you meet. AA will no longer stop you from going up and talking to women. Keep your head down and grind it out.

Example"I'm new to this campus. Can you recommend any place to grab a bite?", "Feel free to join me if you'd like."

A cold approach on the street.


You've done it. Mad lad. From this point forward, you should be able to connect and meet with any girls at any time.

It's not a bad idea to keep up another dozen or so (of type 3) for the next week. By now, your confidence and internal "system" for approaching will be a lot better. This will result in a much higher cold approach success rate. It should yield several more numbers, a hook-up or two, and help you transition to be able to just passively do it from now on.

If you haven't got a single number- it's very likely because of your looks. If you're struggling with what changes you could make (and are already going to the gym), post a link in the comments, and I'll help you the best I can.

Eliminating AA is the easiest thing you can do to change your life. There's nothing else like it. All you're doing is literally going up and talking to people. How difficult that is to accomplish it will be up to you.

Related Questions:

Can you completely eliminate approach anxiety?

Yes, at least to the point where it doesn't stop you from do it (so you may feel, but can always push through it). The difficulty lies in exposure/experience.

Can AA come back?

While I wouldn't say it's like riding a bike, your progress is mainly linear and solidified as you make it. Once you've completed the program and have frequently got laid through it, it shouldn't ever be much of an issue.

At worse, if you went many months or even years between talking to anyone, you might be just a little extra nervous.

What makes nervousness when approaching worse?

It's a mental game. It's going to be more challenging for some than others. Other stuff going on in your life can be both distracting and detrimental. Some guys may need to get some bigger issues sorted first. At the very least, it's why I recommend your full time commitment towards it, alongside using online dating.

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