The Best Cold Approach Openers (to get her number)

April 8, 2023

Cold approach is an invaluable skill that can change your life.

It's remarkable that there's a direct method of meeting numerous attractive new women quickly and with far less competition than against thousands of others through Tinder or online dating.

Most women rely on their social circle to meet new people, and cold approach opens things up massively.

Knowing the best openers to use can help keep you prepared with reliable and repeatable things you can say in almost any scenario.

Best Cold Approach Openers (what to say)

While there are various cold approach openers to use depending on your location and activity, we'll first discuss universal ones you can use almost anywhere.

The best cold approach openers are ones where you're friendly but direct.

"This is kind of random but I thought you're kind of cute and wanted to say hi"

"Hi, I'm Ross. I thought you seem cool and wanted to know if you ever wanted to hang out"

"Hey. I know this is a bit different but I saw you and think you're attractive and wanted to say hello"

These are honest, straightforward openers that get to the point. They're essentially variations of the same idea. You're not wasting their (or your) time if they're not interested (which means more time for other approaches).

If they're interested, the exact wording won't matter. What matters is whether they're single, find you attractive, and are interested enough to go along with it.

What Are Situational Openers?

The alternative to the openers above is to base them on your environment and what she may be doing when you talk to her. 

These could be "on the spot" openers where you think of something unique relative to the situation. For instance, she may be grocery shopping and having trouble unhooking her shopping cart or reaching for something on the top shelf. You can say hi and offer to lend a hand.

They serve as ice-breakers- but you still have to move the conversation forward.

Other openers can be better prepared depending on the location. This could mean browsing different sections at the library, with having something in mind to say depending on the books she is looking at.

These are most effective when they involve a hobby or topic you're interested in. You could be at a store about fishing/outdoors, music, instruments, gaming, etc.

However, unless these stores are in a mall where you go cold approaching, it's best to recognize and take advantage of such opportunities in your day-to-day life.

If you're wanting some examples of situational openers, check out 10 Clever Ways to Approach a Girl.

Converting Situational Openers

It's crucial with situational openers to still be able to move from small talk to asking them out. 

This is why universal openers are more efficient, despite not being as easy. You can usually tell immediately if they're interested or not. Their body language should reveal their receptiveness even if they're being polite about it. This way you can quickly move on without lingering on the conversation.

In the ideal scenario, you chat with her about the guitar she's checking out (which you know a bit about). Then, you suggest hanging out and playing together sometime.

The opener is smooth and naturally goes from saying "hi" to you getting her number.

Sadly, you're not likely to come across and have these occurrences too frequently, so you'll usually have to have something specific in mind to say first to transition to asking for her number. A variation on a universal opener works great:

"This is a bit out of the blue but... would you want to hang out sometime?"

Expected Opener Success Rates

Keep in mind that this is a numbers game. Even the most attractive and smoothest guy on Earth would still get rejected more often than not. Try not to take rejection personally, as her response is almost always out of your control (assuming you've improved your looks).

Experience and recognizing opportunities greatly influence your success rate. Once you know what you're doing and become confident enough, you can do it anytime without going out specifically to approach.

Success rates can vary, but assuming you'll get 1-2 numbers per dozen approaches is reasonable once you're experienced enough. A bit over half of those numbers will result in a response from someone genuinely interested.

I have a complete guide breaking down my cold approach success rate. It includes approach videos, types of rejections from my first 50, and more. I highly recommend those who haven't yet started approaching to check it out.

Should You Cold Approach?

There are two things you need to know before embarking on doing cold approaches.

1 - Appearance is deciding factor of cold approach success.

2 - Achieving good looks is possible for the majority of men.

You probably already knew the first point and might have doubts about the second one.

However, it's true. The only uncertainties are the timeline and the exact steps to accomplish it.

Most guys don't:

  • Grow a beard if they have a weak chin.
  • Choose a fitting haircut.
  • Use Rogaine/Fin if they experience hair loss.
  • Maintain a tan (natural or with a bronzer).
  • Wear well-fitting clothes.
  • Wear shoes/sneakers with higher heels (if they are on the shorter side).
  • Stay physically fit.

If you don't currently look your best- focus on improving your looks before cold approaching (or even using Tinder). 

Check out Should You Cold Approach? if you're still unsure whether to start or not.

Cold Approach is Hard

Many people doubt if cold approach even works, often looking for an excuse to avoid it.

It's difficult but incredibly rewarding. Make sure to prioritize your appearance and don't try to punch well above your weight. If you're having trouble making a single approach- consider starting our approach anxiety program.

I've had great success with it, including meeting my current girlfriend, whom I've now dated for over ten years. It's incredible how one small moment of approaching and saying hi to someone can change your life forever. Keep your eye on the prize and persevere. Fearful rejections or awkwardness won't hold a candle to what you'll accomplish and the women you'll meet.

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