10 Clever Ways to Approach a Girl

May 3rd, 2023

Approaching women can be challenging, but being clever about it can help you ease into starting a conversation with anyone.

You can do this by using "situational openers" which relies on commenting about your environment or situation as an ice-breaker.

We'll go over 10 different approach types where you could incorporate this and provide clear examples of what you could say.

But before we get started, there are a few crucial points to know:

  • Approach right away. The more you overthink what to say, the harder it will be to make the approach.
  • Keep it short. No need to waste either of your time.
  • They're more likely to give a friendly response with a situational opener; it doesn't necessarily mean they're interested.
  • Cold approach success rates average around 5 - 10%. However, you can expect this to be higher (at least double) with situational openers.
  • You'll want to have something to say for a follow-up or how you'll get their number (we'll get to this later).
  • Follow my the approach anxiety program if you're having trouble doing any.

Here are the 10 clever ways to approach any girl:

1. Ask Her About Something She's Doing

Approaching and asking what they're doing could apply to many different scenarios. One typical example, though, could be a hobby group or store.

Let's say you're in the library and see a cute girl reading a book:

"Hey I'm sorry bother you but I noticed you're reading x and am interested in what you think of it so far?"

In this specific scenario, before making the approach, I would make a quick Google search on my phone to have at least some information on what she's reading. Check out the post How to meet women at the library for more details on how to do the approach itself.

2. Talk About Your Environment/Situation

Making a comment about where you are or what's going on has a ton of potential.

You could make a comment about the music or food at a festival or market, a ride at a fair, your team at a sporting event, etc:

"These beer prices are ridiculous."

In this case, assuming you're at some event or concert, it can lead to you asking how they think the team/band is, if they're from around here, etc.

Two young people talking at a music festival.

3. Comment About Something She's Looking At

Commenting about something they're looking at can work great in many different places, but those relevant to you work best.

Let's say you're at some hunting/fishing store, and she's looking at a specific rod

"I've been looking at that rod too, what type of fishing do you usually do?"

This could then lead to fishing lingo/questions (that I can't expand on since I don't have the slightest clue about it).

Of course, this isn't like asking about a book in the previous example, where you can pretty much fake it. If you've never fished or engaged in the hobby before, it could backfire- so better to stick to what you know.

If you are talking to someone about something you genuinely enjoy, it will be easier to "hit it off" as well.

Other examples in-store can be for instruments, gaming, pets, or something related to technology/electronics.

4. Use Humor Relating to Your Environment

While it can be challenging to think of something funny on the spot, being in a place you frequent should make it easier.

Maybe you're in some yoga or fitness class:

"I think I heard something pop."

If you are at some exercise class, even being talkative to anyone (including the instructor) can help. This is because while the one you're interested in may not be talking to you, she'll see you're normal and not some quiet mystery dude in the back of the class.

5. Ask If She Wants To Join You To Do Something

This has a limited use case, but it can still apply often enough that it's good to know.

Let's say you're with your mates at the beach and see a group of girls around your age:

"hey do you girls want to join us for a game?"

Of course, you need to have a soccer ball or volleyball or something. Therefore, you'll have to plan this to some degree beforehand. If it's busy enough, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a group of girls for it. 

Also- be one of your friends that actually has the balls to do the talking. 

6. Use a Very Basic & Simple Opener on Her

It may not seem clever, but sometimes you just need help having an excuse to say literally anything to her. 

The more creative part is just thinking up what that may be:

"Do you guys happen to have any mosquito repellant? I'm getting eaten alive out here"

It gets the first conversation over with. In this case, it would only make sense if you're with a group of people doing a shared interest or hobby like a hike.

Other examples could be just asking to borrow something at class or even asking for the time.

young people talking during during group hike

7. Ask Her For Advice About Something

Asking for advice is another easy but clever way to make the approach.

For instance, you could be in a woman-oriented store asking a retail clerk a question:

"hey I'm buying my friend some candles but not sure what to get for her. Can you help me with this?"

Similar to the earlier options, this could be just someone browsing at a hobby store- like asking to know the best beginner instrument to pick up.

Retail approaches are generally the easiest to do, but make sure you have a plan on how to lead it into asking for her number.


While I never made an approach exactly like this shopping, I've done a ton of cold approaches at similar stores. My buddy and I would go to the mall and the first place we would hit up are the stores that sell candles or bath bombs. It's basically guaranteed to have at least one person working there that you'd want to approach.

One of my first ever successful retail cold approach was on a girl working at a tanning salon. She was pretty cute, a little shy, but I just went direct and asked if she'd want to grab a drink sometime. We went out to a nice bar, and the date went pretty well.

However, after increasingly chatting for a few days, she almost entirely stopped talking to me. It's like her interest just got zapped away.

I brushed it off and moved on. A week or so later, I went to go get another tan.

As I opened the door and looked to the girls at the desk- it hit me. I know why she stopped talking to me.

I had also asked out the other girl working at the desk a week prior. Oops.

They obviously got to talking, and I guess she didn't like that I was approaching seemingly everyone or something. Or maybe it's because the other girl rejected me, who knows.

Not sure there's a lesson in there. Her friend was a bit hotter, so maybe start low and first out the one who's more likely to say yes?

8. Ask About Someone They May Know

This approach has a more specific use case, being closer to a "warm" approach than a cold one.

Let's say you're at a party and see someone you like:

"hey, so how do you know x and x?"

In this scenario, the "x" represents the names of the hosts of the party. It could then lead to other people they may know, maybe stories about them, etc.

9. Comment on Something She Owns

You would generally expect a comment about something she owns to be a compliment on her glasses or hair or whatever.

However, it can also work on other things like her dog if you're at the dog park:

"Your dog is pretty cool- what breed is it?"

This is easy as it's what everyone often does. Hell, mine is clearly a wiener dog, but I still get asked it from time to time. Check out how to meet women at the park for more details.

Two young people talking at a dog park.

10. Talk About Something You Both Relate To

We've touched on this a bit already with talking to other people engaging in something relevant to you.

One example could be in class:

"hey how did you work out the question in the third part?"

You could then introduce yourself and eventually lead it into her being a study buddy.

Other interests that relate to you could be chatting with some girl at a political rally or asking someone for suggestions at a vegan restaurant.

Make the Approach

Remember, this is about better recognizing different opportunities and turning them into an approach quickly and efficiently.

Going out to actually try and replicate these exact approaches will most likely be a waste of time

If you're want to move things past the opener, check out my best cold approach openers page where I go over using them and closing to get the number. In addition, make sure you should be cold approaching before you invest all the time and effort. Lastly, check out best places to cold approach if you need help deciding where to start.

Related Questions:

How can you tell if they would rather be left alone?

You can't always tell, though body language may help. You're coming at this in a less intimidating way (for both of you) than a typical cold approach. Therefore, she may be rather friendly even if she doesn't want to be bothered. This is why it's important to keep the interactions on the shorter side.

What if I can't think up anything to say?

Trying to think up something on the spot isn't easy. It's very common for some guys to want to think up the "perfect" thing to say, but then the opportunity passes them by. This is why you should only give yourself a few seconds and always have a backup "line" of what to say, just in case. 

You can also check out Steps for Dealing with Cold Approach Rejections if you're new and still vulnerable to them. You'll get over it with enough practice.

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