Dating a Virgin in Her 20s (what's it like?)
If you've met someone you like, but found out she's a virgin and not sure what that will mean- this post is for you.
Dating a virgin in her 20s won't likely be much of a big deal. What's more relevant is the reason why they're abstinent and how that may impact a potential relationship in the future.
This likely won't be a deal-breaker for most people, but it's important to not rush things if you don't know what she wants or what she's comfortable with.
We'll go over some pros and cons of dating a virgin in her 20s and some different things about what to expect.
My Personal Experience
I've experienced both ends where virginity was and wasn't a big deal to them.
A couple of times, when I was already more experienced with dating, I had realized I was a bit over my head.
It wasn't really fair to them, but it was the reality of the situation. I had at least a few years on them and wasn't necessarily looking for something serious.
I wasn't going to drag them along, so I ended things pretty quickly.
Since I generally move things towards sex around the third date, it became apparent they were a virgin much earlier than if I hadn't otherwise. It's another good reason to move things to the bedroom sooner than later.
Things ended between us after just a handful of dates. It all happened quick enough where nobody really got hurt. As I gained more experience, I was able to better vet out it happening again.
If I had really liked them, and we just happened to "click" right off the bat, I would have probably kept things going.
As for the other time: she didn't tell me she was a virgin until after we hooked up. This may easily happen to a lot of you, as some women in their 20s may just still be a virgin due more to circumstances than anything else.
Regardless, if you do like her, then you should pursue it. Just keep in mind you may have to approach things a bit differently.
Reasons Why She’s Still a Virgin
While there are some conflating statistics about the exact percentage of women in their 20s that are still virgins, it's still fairly common.
However, assuming it's not circumstantial of having just not dated much, here are a few reasons why they may choose to remain celibate:
- Internal pressure she put on herself (not wanting it with "just anybody").
- External pressure due to religion or family expectations.
- Low libido (not as likely but certainly could be an issue).
- General fear: a lot of societal pressure/stigma around it.
- Fear of STDs
- Insecure from body image or self-esteem issues
- Anxiety or Nervousness
Pros of Dating a Virgin (in Her 20s)
- Some guys just like the idea of being with a woman who's had no partners.
- Not having to be fearful of any STD risk yourself.
- It could be a lot of fun introducing sex to someone.
- You're likely to have a strong impact emotional on her. However, this comes with responsibility as "the first cut is the deepest."
In addition, while this may not be their first relationship, they may be less likely to play games with you.
There's also usually one person in any relationship with the "power."
If you don't think this is true- then I have some bad news for you.
It's not something to seek and control, but rather a result from personality dynamics of how it naturally plays out. Power can definitely end up changing hands, but having it carries both advantages and responsibilities.
Cons of Dating a Virgin (in Her 20s)
- You'll have to wait until she's ready, which could take any amount of time.
- This could be an issue if you're someone with a high sex drive.
- She may have a sudden and overly strong emotional dependence on you.
- It can be awkward in the bedroom (at least in the beginning).
- She's likely to have less experience with dating overall.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, you should consider the likelihood of her being okay with just one partner forever.
Things to Keep in Mind
As mentioned, I usually move things to the bedroom relatively quickly, around the third date.
Part of the reason is sometimes they might not be serious enough to get to that "stage" and may be friendzoning you. However, after you find this out about her, you may want to ease up on that.
You want to make it clear that you do want to hook up. After all, it's normal, and everyone has needs in relationships. At the same time, of course, don't push her into it if she doesn't want to.
Assuming she likes you and there's no strong family or religious element to it, then it should happen sooner than later. Still, you can't rush it if she's not ready, so some patience is expected on your part.
Key Takeaways from Dating a Virgin in Their 20s
Since it's not super likely she's looking for a "fling," I wouldn't be expecting one either.
If you're in this situation right now, you've probably made up your mind already. If you like her, then honestly, that's all that should matter.
If you want to be in a more serious relationship with her, then her being a virgin shouldn't be enough reason not to. Just remember you may need to take things a little slower for her sake.
If you're still a virgin yourself- I have an an easy guide to losing your v-card to check out.
