In today's age, meeting someone solely by randomly approaching them may seem too difficult (or risky). It's not easy to do, you may worry about how it's interpreted, and the infamous world of "pickup" doesn't help.
Cold approach does work. Approaching women in this unsolicited manner can be a viable option for meeting new women. Success depends on how attractive you are and how many approaches you make. Being someone a woman wants to be approached by is essential.
Everyone has been in a position before where they thought someone was cool/attractive, yet (from nerves) didn’t try to meet them. This is why learning how to approach someone and seeing the signs of who may be interested is one of the best things you can do.
You can also open yourself up to many women who may have trouble meeting guys, whether from social circle limits or just not finding online dating appealing.
While the ability to approach anyone anytime may seem enticing, it's not ideal for those who lack experience with dating. For one, frequent rejections are more likely to be taken personally and act as a deterrent to continue.
Secondly, many young guys are more likely to make mistakes like neglecting their appearance or lacking the social skills to achieve the desired outcome. Having a few dates can help build confidence, and online dating is an excellent initial step.
Suppose you're new to cold approach and don't need a significant investment in your appearance. In that case, success with 1 - 2 women out of every 20 is reasonable. I've tested this and can back it up through my own cold approach success rate.
You cold approach by saying hello, having a small chat, then asking if they would like to hang out sometime. If she's available and finds you attractive, that's all that's needed. If starting is difficult, you can practice by approaching and asking for directions first.
You'll want to go in public where there are many people (mall, library, college, etc.) and at least a couple times per week for meaningful progress. As for the actual approaches, the key is to keep it simple and short.
Follow these 3 steps for making a cold approach:
Another option is to use a situational opener. These are much more effective as it relies on using a natural excuse to talk to her. You might make a comment about the store you're both at, something she's doing, or just anything unique about the situation you're in.
For a more detailed breakdown of what to say, check out the Best Cold Approach Openers.
A warm approach is asking out someone in your social circle, at work, or through a mutual connection.
All three (cold approach, warm approach, and online dating) are useful in their own right. You should take advantage of each as best you can, but you may figure it's worthwhile to prioritize one over the other.
Cold approach can be exceptionally difficult. With how challenging it can be to make even a single approach, you may not want to do it if it always requires much effort. Fortunately...
Cold approach does get easier over time. How easy will depend on the amount of approaches made and your success with it. Success helps you push through mental blocks as you've proved to yourself it's worthwhile. Practice helps make you more comfortable with approaching as it becomes more familiar.
Check out 6 crucial tips for dealing with cold approach rejection to help you overcome the initial difficulty spike of your first approaches.
You're working towards the end goal of being able to naturally approach in public when an opportunity presents itself (and not having to frequently go approaching).
You can eliminate approach anxiety through experience and exposure with approaches. This means approaching frequently- at least doing it 20 times per month. Framing success as experience gained instead of the outcome is essential. Furthermore, making sure you look great will help your odds.
The first few times you try is just to prove to yourself that it's not as scary as you think. So, don't be upset if you didn't accomplish much. It's also okay to be nervous or a bit awkward. It doesn't mean she wouldn't like you for it.
If you're struggling- start with the approach anxiety program to help you ease into it.
The ceiling for mastering cold approach is quite high.
Mastering cold approach relies on your success, attractiveness, and experience. Attractiveness is the most challenging, as you don't have complete control over it. Fortunately, there's still much you can do like working on your physique, wearing well-fit clothes, choosing a proper hairstyle, and more.
I have more of these quick appearance improvements listed in How to Look Your Best Every Day.
It's all rather simple, though still easy to complicate. Realize you should be a guy that a girl actually wants to be approached by. This may mean you must invest time into the gym before starting, as your appearance is everything.
Cold approach does indeed work, despite its heinous reputation. Breaking the previous-held limits of who or how you meet others is liberating and certainly not something you should be afraid of doing. Few things help self-esteem more than looking great and being able to cold approach anyone anytime.
Don't wait around for women to approach you, take the initiative to do something so many are scared to do.