How to Ask a Stranger Out Over Text

April 6, 2023

At some point, everyone's had a crush on somebody they didn't know very well (or at all). It can be frustrating when you want to be able to talk or text them, but you're afraid it may seem a bit weird or too "out of the blue" for them to be receptive.

How to ask a stranger out over text? Be friendly but direct, regardless of how well you know them. You can say something as simple as, "hey I'm Ross, we met at Jessica's place the other night." Then, after getting to know them a bit, say something like, "we should chill sometime soon if you're down."

It doesn't need to be more complicated than that.

We'll go over different ways you can ask them out and how to get to know them more easily (so they'll be more likely to say yes). We'll also touch on some different scenarios depending on how you got their number.

Getting to Know a Stranger Through Text

The best way to get to know a stranger widely depends on your circumstances of how you got their number in the first place.

It's ideal when you reach out to them to discuss anything you may have in common. Since you already have their digits, you can bring up the place/party where you met or the people who introduced you.

If you got their number through a friend, talk about that friend. Ask how they met them or share a funny story about them.

Keep in mind that the conversation can easily be a bit stiff. As you don't know each other very well, it's less likely for the chat to be relaxed and casual. Don't worry too much if it starts this way; it's completely normal and doesn't necessarily mean they're not interested in you.

Asking Out Someone You Barely Know Over Text

It will be a bit more difficult if they're a complete stranger or someone you barely know. In this scenario, send them a message through social media first, so they can see who you are and what you look like. From there, continue messaging them on Facebook (or whichever platform you used) up to the point of asking them out.

If they agree, you can switch to text or ask for their number if you don't have it already.

Using social media is essential if they've never seen you before, as you can't expect anyone to agree to that.

How Many Texts Before Asking Them Out

I would only spend a little time texting to get to know them. Odds are reasonably strong of it not working out with any one person, so don't waste too much of each other's time.

Having around a dozen text exchanges is ideal before asking them out. You don't want to put in too much effort if they're not interested, but you also don't want to ask too early (before they can gauge what you're like).

The timeframe matters little regarding how quickly you go from saying hello to asking them out. It's okay if you text her everyday, as the conversation won't last that long overall before you suggest hanging out.

Make sure you're not a boring texter, as that won't really get you anywhere. You also don't want to text desperately, either.

It can be a quick chat over an hour or a couple of days. Just make sure to not wait too long.

How to Flirt With a Stranger Over Text

A bit of flirting is fine, but it's best to primarily hold off until you've got to better know them. If you're asking them out after just a day of texting, keep the flirting until after you hang out.

Otherwise, to flirt with a stranger, keep it light and playful. Heavy flirting may be awkward or uncomfortable when they don't know you, so ensure it's not too much.

Joking around or lightly teasing is enough at first.

Don't bother trying to get a girl to come over through text, either. Some may be interested in that, but most aren't likely to until they know you better.

How to Ask a Guy Out Over Text

As I'm getting a reasonable amount of women on this site, it only makes sense to answer similar questions for them.

A lot of the same ideas still apply. Ask a guy out over text by being friendly and up-forward. Something as simple as "would you want to hang out sometime?" is all you need to do. If you fear rejection, bring up doing something like watching a hockey game on a specific date. Even if they're unavailable that day but still want to see you, they'll suggest something else.

If we have no idea who you are, as in haven't seen you before, reach out on social media first.

I can't recall ever being asked out by a girl before, but it would certainly impress me.

If it has happened, it was likely when I was young and probably utterly oblivious to what was being said. That's why it's essential to be direct, as he may like you but is still clueless about what's being said (at least through text, we're less likely for things to go over our head).

What to Keep in Mind...

You don't need to "play it cool" or whatever, like when you usually text them. Don't try to text like a player; be more friendly and straightforward.

Make sure to acknowledge the fact that it's always going to be a numbers game. In addition, the fact that she's a stranger means things are even less likely to work out.

Avoid getting hung up on the outcome, as often it's out of your control, and the experience is still valuable.

Make sure to always be working on your appearance. Since you want to meet someone- you should ideally take advantage of online dating, tinder, cold approach, etc.

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