How to Make a Move on a Girl (and escalate to sex)
I get it. Nervousness can make escalating super difficult. Fear of rejection or being awkward can make the pressure skyrocket.
But before we get into exactly what to do...
Know that if she wants you to make a move, it won't matter how you do it.
She won't remember how smooth or clumsy you were.
So, don't feel the need to follow these steps perfectly. If you feel confident enough to kiss her in one moment, just go for it.
Girls like a guy who can take the initiative and make a move.
You should try to be that guy.
1. Set the Right Tone Early On
Setting the right tone early means you build up sexual tension from the start. This can be like touching (hands on the back/waist for some moments), complimenting how good she looks, teasing, etc.
You want her to expect that you will make a move.
This way, it won't surprise her when it happens. Your actions show how you want to hook up.
However, you don't want it to come across too sudden or forced. If you're already seeing someone, just ease into flirting so it's more natural.
Regardless, it's a great habit to have going forward. It helps show you're not a pushover who chases women (and waits forever for action).
After all, there shouldn't be an imbalance of power for either of you.
Check out How to ask a girl to hook up for more examples of setting expectations.
2. Snuggle Up and Get Close
Set it up so you're together and alone. Message her that you should chill soon and plan when to meet.
You can even mention how your parents aren't home or how your house is free.
She'll 100% know what you're getting at.
If she agrees, your odds of success go way up.
1. Hang out and watch TV with her on your couch or bed.
Spending one-on-one time like this is the easiest way to do it. Any "next level" party hookups will be too challenging for most.
You'll get the cajones to pull that off once you have some experience under your belt.
2. Offer her a drink once you're together.
You certainly shouldn't depend on drinking to make a move. At the same time, it's fine in small amounts if it helps you take action. Just don't have any if she doesn't want some.
3. Grab a blanket for you both. Sit down, lift it up, and invite her to scoot over.
She'll probably come sit close without you having to ask.
The big brain move would be to grab the smallest blanket you can find (so she has to get super close).
The point is to make things more intimate between you. This helps make the following steps much easier.
3. Take Action to Set Things Up
Consider escalating as increasing levels/stages.
This just means going from first base to second, third, etc.
You see what she's comfortable with. If she doesn't want to keep going, just stay in your lane for the day.
This is way safer than immediately making a move (that may be too aggressive). Also, she'll be more turned on with gradually increased foreplay.
Anyway...
This step is about setting yourself up to make out.
So how do you do it?
You could ask if she's ticklish and start tickling her to (playfully) get on top of her. Or, maybe you just place your hand on her leg and start rubbing it with your thumb.
One thing I used to do is offer a massage (recently discussed this in the campus hookup guide).
I would start by saying how "I must have done something to my neck as it's pretty sore."
Then, I would mention how she "should totally give me a legit massage."
If they agree and do it, I just return the favor right after. Otherwise, I say I'll give them one first "so it's fair."
I tell her to come between my legs and give her the best massage ever.
They often get super into it, which makes escalating easier. From there, it leads to kissing her neck and behind the ears. Everything should be getting hot and heavy. Making out becomes the natural next step.
When she wants you bad, making a move becomes a million times easier.
When she wants you bad, making a move becomes a million times easier.
4. Kiss Her and Start Making Out
This often is the most challenging part for most guys.
No matter how well you prepare, a high board still needs you to physically jump off of it.
Like diving, making a move at least gets easier after the first time.
Fortunately, it's unlikely you'll face resistance with just making out.
The odds of rejection are very low if you followed the previous steps. Unless she only sees you as friends, she'll be down to make out.
Again, flirting helps you avoid anything platonic.
5. Escalate to Hook Up
Make out. Enjoy it. Enjoy it more.
Touch her. Feel her. Rub up against her. Kiss her neck. Go on top of her.
On your knees, have one leg in between her so your thigh can rub up against her. Put some pressure on it. Keep making out. Put your hand up her shirt. Tell her how sexy she is.
Be in the moment.
Replace your thigh with your hand. Rub up against it (with a fair bit of pressure).
Now's the make or break.
Tell her to remove her pants or start gliding your hand under them. If she's clearly hesitant, back off from it.
Otherwise, it's a green light to keep going.
Have the equipment (protection/lube) ready nearby. If you're at her place, put the lube in a jacket pocket beforehand.
If it's your first time and you can't find the hole... put pressure from the top and glide it downwards (until it slips in).
Key Takeaways & Tips
- Refrain from letting the pressure build by waiting too long.
- Pay attention to what she does/doesn't want when you ramp things up.
- Offering a massage is an easy way to turn her on.
- The more turned on she is, the more success you'll have.
- Making a move gives you experience, even if rejected. Recognize that it's all about progress.
Remember that she's with you because she likes you. She probably wants to jump your bones even if you don't hook up. She may just have her own rules. That's 100% fine.
The main thing is to just go after what you want. If it's too early for her, respect that. You'll at least have put things in motion for next time.
Making the Move
Lastly, try to get out of your head so much.
Being in the moment is more important than following these steps to a "T." You'll better recognize opportunities to escalate and avoid seeming distracted.
Building a genuine connection with her should still be a priority.
That is unless you're looking for a quick hookup. But if you are, you likely already know how to make a move on a girl...
For some reason, chemistry with her isn't discussed enough. It's mind-boggling and yet another reason to ditch the PUA advice.
This connection is what makes her interested in you. Women often decide whether to sleep with you before meeting up. Her affinity towards you strongly influences this decision (among other things).
Just don't lose sight of the bigger picture.
