The importance of making a woman feel feminine and sexy isn't talked about enough.
What she feels about you is the only thing that matters.
It's useless to focus on things that won't move the needle (like finding the perfect response to her text).
If you can make her feel girly and hot, she'll stick around. You want her connected to you. You want her turned on by you.
If you manage this with a new girl, it will be game over for the competition. Those other guys' efforts will be futile when you're the one who makes her feel like a woman.
If you manage this with your wife or girlfriend, your bond will only further build.
Otherwise, you won't get far with women if you don't do what's listed below.
The more you can do, the better. So ignore the fluff and let's focus on what actually matters.
1. Be as Masculine as You Can
Imagine yourself walking around with some arm candy. You would feel pretty manly showing off a beautiful woman by your side.
Her femininity feeds into your masculinity, and it works both ways.
She'll feel feminine with a "man's man" by her side.
However, you don't want to overdo it. You can't convince the world you're some macho man when you're not. The good thing is that masculinity can take different forms, typically conveyed from your:
- Physical image
- Maturity / emotional intelligence
- Confidence
- Ability to take initiative
Your physical image is most realistic quality to improve today.
The following 2 need self-reflection, life experience, and the ability to push your comfort zone. Just be mindful of it as this growth takes time.
As for "initiative," it's connected to your goals, perseverance, and a lack of passivity (which leads us to the next point...)
I'm certainly far from being an expert on what it takes to be a man, but this is based on things I've learned. I've gone in-depth about this in How to Be a Chad
2. Avoid the Passive Beta Behavior
Consent is very important and necessary. It's great that it's focused on so much today.
However, it may have the unintended consequence of propagating passiveness.
Men are expected to make the first move. At the same time, there is massive pressure to not do it incorrectly. It's not surprising a study found that teenage boys feel anxious about consent culture.
So, for lack of a better word, you don't see as many "alphas" out there today. I'm not referring to being some loud, obnoxious "bro." It's about being able to go after what you want.
Simply put...
She won't feel feminine if she has more balls than you.
For instance, you should indulge in whatever fetish you have. Tell your girl what you want to do to her. Make her feel how much you want her.
Don't overthink everything. Having initiative is a manly trait that she will be attracted to. It will also help you stand out from the competition.
3. Make Her Feel Desired
Expanding on the point above, making her feel desired and wanted is crucial. She'll know how feminine and sexy she is when she sees how much it turns you on.
This isn't just about sex, either.
Make her feel like a girly girl.
Lean in on stereotypes. Your girlfriend (or wife) is a catch and is worth showing off. Do things that reflect that. It makes her feel sought after.
Also, show your appreciation for her. Take care of stuff she doesn't like to do. Make her dinner. Do things that make an impact and are meaningful to her.
4. Know How to Flirt and Build Sexual Tension
A massive element is being able to flirt and build sexual tension.
It may seem obvious, but so many guys don't actually aim to build sexual tension.
I used to be guilty of this. I would only ask girls about their day or asked questions that made it seem like an interview. I was a boring texter and didn't know how to move things forward.
Having a spark between you is essential to making her feel feminine.
Be playful with her. Tease her. Joke around. Let her know how much she turns you on.
It's a bit of an art to get really good at it. You can start with more of a mindset/vibe where you have the right response for the moment.
Let's say you text her and ask what she's doing. She says she's about to hop in the shower. You "joke" back by saying:
"I'll need to see some proof of that ;)"
Complimenting can help too (but don't overdo it). Let her know how hot she looks if you like what she's wearing.
Lastly, when you're together in person, offer her a massage. It's one of the best ways to build tension and make a move.
5. Make Her Proud of Getting You
On some level at certain times, I still feel like a kid. Yet a powerful way to remind this boy he's a man is by reflecting on the amazing women he's been with.
Be that hot guy she's envisioned dating. Make her proud of getting a stud like yourself. It will validate her own sex appeal (which increases femininity). To do this:
- You need to actually be a catch
- You need to know what she likes
This first part is largely a culmination of this article. You're a man who's sought after that she feels lucky to have. You put effort into your appearance and possibly have some level of swagger.
The second part is knowing her on a deeper level:
- What kind of man is she attracted to?
- What does he look like?
- How does he act?
You should still have an identity for your image and "look," but lean into/infuse it with what she likes.
6. Be Amazing in Bed
You can stumble on every other point and still do well if you're great in the sack.
Why?
Because sex affects the core of her femininity. She will be craving you.
Even if your style or manliness is lacking, it's you who blew her mind. She'll be attached to who you are and not any outer shell.
Of course, your masculinity, initiative, and appearance still help you sleep with women in the first place. There's no point in ignoring them. Just know that performing well will help keep her around.
So, go get her hooked by validating the fantasies she's had of you (or better yet, exceed them).
7. Make Small Impactful Gestures Daily
These are small things that further build on desire.
This can mean being playful with her. Tease or tickle her, then snuggle up. Kiss her behind the ears, pick up and carry her to the bedroom, etc.
Make her feel protected.
Take the initiative in making decisions and calling the shots. Be the leader in your relationship.
Allow yourself to be her rock. She should know you're a calm and level-headed guy. You're dependable and emotionally solid. If things take a left turn, she can lean on you for anything.
References
Setty, E. Educating Teenage Boys About Consent: The Law and Affirmative Consent in Boys’ Socio-Sexual Cultures and Subjectivities. Sex Roles 87, 515–535 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-022-01335-9