How to Respond to Soft Ghosting (easily deal with it)

July 6th, 2023 

To know how to respond to being soft ghosted, it's crucial to understand why it's happening and the motivations behind it.

While they're not always intentionally trying to string you along, it can be pretty rough on the receiving end.

We'll go over the exact steps for how to deal with it, how to detect it, why they're doing it, and the difference between soft and regular ghosting.

How to Deal with Being Soft Ghosted

When someone's ghosting you this way, they're dragging you along with minimal effort. They give you just enough to keep you wondering if they're actually interested in you. It's essentially passive ghosting. They will probably end up fully ghosting you, but likely feel guilty about doing it abruptly.

How to Best Respond to Soft Ghosting:

  1. Assess The Situation: Consider the history of your interactions. Is this a new occurrence or something that's been gradually happening over time? It could indicate they've been losing in you for a while.
  2. Give It Time: Before jumping to conclusions, allow a little time to pass. The other person might be genuinely busy or going through something that is affecting their responsiveness.
  3. Consider Asking Why: They may just not be interested in you anymore. So, you have nothing to lose by being honest and asking about it. As mentioned, they could be dealing with something and didn't mean to disengage with you.
  4. Be Ready to Move On: People don't deserve your time if they don't respect it. So, be prepared to move on. If things change and you still matter to them, they'll contact you.
  5. Suggest Hanging Out: If you're uncertain if you're actually being soft ghosted, suggest hanging out. If they bail (especially more than once), it's clear they're not interested in you right now.

  6. Focus On Yourself: Don't let it negatively affect your confidence or self-esteem. Learn from it if you can. Otherwise, just recognize what's happening and keep working on bettering yourself. 

Constantly fixating on why you're being ghosted will drive you crazy. There's no reason to overanalyze as it's often out of your control.

Try not to take it personally either way. Identify that it's happening, consider giving them some time, but be capable of letting them go if need be.

Is She Soft Ghosting Me?

If a girl is soft ghosting you, you should be able to notice if:

  • She takes a long time to respond.
  • Her replies are short and dull.
  • She rarely initiates the conversation.

It's quite similar to dry texting, except there's a distinct motivation behind it. If you're unsure if this applies to her, check out When Should You Stop Talking to a Girl.

If you think she may still be interested in you, give it a week or two. Then, if things still haven't changed, you should drop her. If that's too difficult to accept, at least give it 6 months.

Is my friend soft ghosting me?

The signs will be the same if a friend is soft ghosting you. They'll seem very disengaged in any conversation you have.

The relationships you have with most people you see or date won't lead anywhere. It's just the reality of dating.

However, real friendships are harder to come by. So, you may want to be a bit more forgiving if they seem to be soft-ghosting you. 

I've had points in my life where, for whatever reason, I didn't give much time to friends. Perhaps I should have gone out with them more, but I never intended to stop being friends.

Reach out and let them know you're there. Give them some space and just text them at a later date.  The exact timeline won't matter if they still want to be friends. Let them deal with what they're going through, and reach out every 3-6 months.

A photo of an attractive woman with ghosts behind her.

What is The Difference Between Ghosting and Soft Ghosting?

Ghosting is entirely cutting contact with someone, while soft ghosting maintains minimal contact. Someone who soft ghosts may feel guilty about ghosting someone, so they continue talking minimally instead.

They don't realize how it's typically worse to soft ghost.

Ghosting, while potentially brutal at times, is normalized. It's one of the clear and effective ways to tell someone you're not interested in talking to them. It's certainly preferable to someone lying straight to your face. You've likely expeirenced this before, like when giving her your number without getting a text back.

Why do people soft ghost?

Along with feeling guilty about ghosting, they may just be unsure about whatever relationship you both have. Maybe they genuinely like you but hold some doubts. Maybe they like you, but something important came up that holds their attention (instead of you).

They may have soft-ghosted you because you're their backup.

In this case, you're their "plan b." They have you as an option if things don't work out with the person they're seeing.

Their hesitancy can drag your relationship (or friendship) on indefinitely. You can ghost them back or give them time. Either way, it's smart to distance yourself from them for a little while.

Responses to Dating & Being Ghosted All the Time

If being ghosted is a frequent occurrence for you, you might want to take a step back.

Something has probably happened between the time you first met them and now. It could be several things like something you said, something you did, your appearance, etc.

Regardless, your best response to this is always to prioritize your life first. Figure out the type of person you want to be- someone who's worth dating. If you need help on where to start, check out these tips on How to Look Your Best Everyday.

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