How to Rizz Up a Girl (Beginners Guide)

June 10th, 2023 

Knowing how to Rizz up a girl is crucial to your success with women. Anyone can talk to girls and at least get their attention. What's difficult is building her interest in you.

You can Rizz up a girl through playful flirting, avoiding small talk, and having fun with it. Adjusting your game depending on the individual is also an essential factor. This means understanding whether she currently prioritizes physical attraction or emotional connection.

We'll go over how to have Rizz, use it in person or text, and what an advanced level looks like.

How to Rizz Up a Girl

What is Rizz? Rizz refers to your "game" with women. It's a dating term about your ability for women to find you attractive and interesting. It's both something that you have and something that you use. The term originated from Tiktok and is playing on the middle of part of "charisma."

Basics of Rizz:

  • Experience. You can't expect to act like some player if you lack the necessary skills to back it up.
  • Confidence. This comes from success, which comes from experience. Some guys consume certain things to help their confidence, but building it naturally while being sober is best.
  • Good looks. The more attractive you are, the easier it will be. Fortunately, most men have the means to make significant appearance improvements with some quick changes. Developing a great physique helps a lot too.

How to Rizz up a Girl:

  • Avoid small talk and boring conversation. It's fine at first when introducing yourself, but try to not rely on it..
  • Know that Rizzing is not just flirting. It's far from it. Be flirty, but with it more as a vibe. You're teasing, and she's being playful with it. 
  • Don't be cocky or arrogant. You don't want it to seem like you're some hot shit. Be real, genuine, but still a guy she knows could turn her on.
  • Don't feel the need to compliment. It's okay to do but it's not necessary. A compliment itself isn't going to change her opinion of you. At best, it's a means of flirting (like saying her skirt or whatever looks great on her).
  • Adjust how you act depending on her personality. Sometimes you're building an honest connection with someone. Other times it's purely physical. Still, be yourself (but match her energy/interest level).
  • Adapt to different environments or situations. Your approach to talking to a girl at some party should differ from someone you just met at school. 
  • Don't try to be someone you're not. Women can read through any facade.

When you're talking to her, the absolute best things to say will be what's natural and in the moment. You should be engaged and listening to what she's saying. 

Even though Rizzing is referred to as "game," it's not a game itself. It's not about pressing the right buttons.

Be interested in what she says. You can begin by talking about whatever's relevant. This means if it's a girl in class, start by asking her about an assignment or homework. Test the waters, flirt, joke, then see if she's receptive. Continue talking if she is, but gauge if she's just being polite.

Getting good Rizz is more of an advanced thing, and it's something you'll just develop over time. If you're a 20-year-old virgin, refining your game shouldn't be a focus. Just looking good and going out to talk to women should still work well enough.

Don't use pickup lines

Reaching this point is only accomplished through experience and success. 

The only time rehearsed lines work is with cold approach openers. Even then, it's not really "lines" as it's just a means of introducing yourself. Even still, situational openers are best as they're natural and in the moment.

Have fun with it

It's genuinely fun. When I started having the guts to approach women, I found just talking to them was a big win. Being as inexperienced as I was, having that validation that attractive women found me interesting/attractive was huge. My motivation shot through the roof, crucially pushing my experience level.

Over time it becomes more fun and something for your amusement. You enter in a flow state where you forget nervousness around women ever existed for you. There's zero dependence on the outcome.

Don't engage in harmful PUA tactics

The misleading PUA (pickup artist) community enforces a belief that any woman can be won if you do or say the right things. This is outright wrong and pushes many men down a descructive path.

When you Rizz up a girl, she needs to already:

  • Find you attractive.
  • Be single.
  • Be available (interested in meeting someone for a fling or relationship).
  • Like you enough from the image/vibe you give off.

You essentially need to have already checked off enough boxes. Some of these boxes are in your control, and some aren't. After that, it's just a matter of connecting enough where you both hit it off. A "failure" doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

How to Rizz a Girl Up Over Text?

How you go about your "game" and rizz through texting differs as the influences change.

You can rizz girl up through text by focusing on building a connection with her while being fun and flirty. You should match her interest and engagement by being casual with your tone and interactions. 

Try avoiding small talk while being willing to dig into deeper topics with her.

If the girl you like seems more interested in hooking up, you should be more direct with it instead. This means being more flirty and keen to set up a date together.

Whether the woman you like is girlfriend or hookup material, you should always be moving towards meeting up.

Building her interest in you solely through text is difficult. It's proven that you build more trust in person than over the phone. Don't be wasting time messaging her forever.

Just an hour together could tell you more about each other than days of texting.

It's even worse when you're friendzoned without knowing it. Suggesting to hang out helps filter those who aren't actually interested in you.

A girl being rizzed up through text.

What is Unspoken Rizz?

Unspoken Rizz is when a woman feels affection for a man without knowing him or ever talking to him. This means a guy's appearance, social status, and confidence. 

This means you look good and you probably have some swagger. She thinks you're hot af because of it.

It's like having a baseline Rizz. You start at a higher level, as you already have some boxes checked off. You basically don't have to do as much.

You've likely met guys with unspoken rizz. They get a lot of action, and everyone knows it. They can even attract those who only want to hook up and have fun.

Having game is still important, though. In my early 20s, I had high unspoken rizz. Unfortunately, it was largely artificial. A lot of the attention I got dropped once I opened my mouth...

For me, a part of my problem was not really talking to women since I was afraid of "screwing it up." I didn't realize dating failures are worth celebrating (since no action meant no knowledge gained).

Is unspoken rizz essential?

I have a friend with literally zero "unspoken rizz," yet he slays at an insane level.

He's basic looking, a bit overweight, and has a receding hairline (sorry Steve).

Despite this, he hooks up with more women than anyone I've ever known. He makes it look effortless too. He's the 0.0001% where experience can overcome looks. He's confident and can pick up if anyone's down to have fun.

This isn't really something to learn from, though. Even Steve would do better if he worked on his appearance. He just happens to not need to.

Your image is a huge factor in your success with women. While it's possible you could be like my buddy Steve, it's not realistic.

Unspoken rizz is not essential, but still something you should strive for.

A shot of a man with unspoken rizz.

W Rizz

It may be a new term (and one I'm probably too old to use) but the principles of it have been around forever.

It's an incredibly useful skill- but one that will require practice.

Your confidence and success with your game will develop gradually. However, it may feel like a 'eureka' moment when you learn how to successfully rizz a girl up.

It was this way for me. It was like I suddenly realized I could choose to be fearless and composed. I was no longer fixated on "what to say next." Instead, I'm at ease, focusing on flirting and enjoying the chat.

If you have experience with women, you'll have more confidence to W (win) Rizz (the game). Your looks and experience/confidence do most of the heavy lifting.

Check out 8 tips for getting rizz if you need help on where to start.

Key takeaways: how to rizz a girl up

  • Improve appearance through style and physique.
  • Build confidence through experience.
  • Avoid small talk or conversational fluff.
  • Be yourself and not act like others.
  • Adjust interaction by the environment you're in.
  • Adjust interaction by the type of girl.
  • Limit your ego to come across as genuine.
  • Casually flirt while lightly teasing or being playful.
  • Stick to honest conversations over canned openers.


Sadikaj, G., & Moskowitz, D. S. (2018). I hear but I don’t see you: Interacting over phone reduces the accuracy of perceiving affiliation in the other. Computers in Human Behavior, 89, 140-147.

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