The importance of screening women cannot be understated.
Your dating life will significantly improve when you understand and use this mindset. You'll waste much less time with women and reduce any fears of rejection.
The benefits extend out to others as well, including healthier relationships. You'll become more forgiving and more selective with the people around you. Those you do surround yourself with will be more meaningful in your life.
We'll first go over the mentality of screening, followed by direct action you can take to implement it.
Screening is a mindset and skill that impacts your behavior. At its core, you're filtering out women who don't want the same things as you.
But it's much more than that.
It's the fundamental understanding of compatibilities (or lack thereof). It's knowing that many women you meet won't be available. It's also grasping why women you date may not be compatible in the long term.
You first need to realize that rejections are 100% normal.
You can certainly be rejected for reasons in your control. A poor appearance or complete lack of experience can cause this.
But it's about accepting who you are now. There will always be things to improve on. Keep working on them, but recognize that a rejection is not a mistake on your part. You're just currently incompatible.
Possibly the biggest trap men fall into is the mentality of: "I hope she likes me."
From the moment he meets her, he tries to win her over. He tries to impress her by being funny, smooth, smart, thoughtful, etc.
This mindset is completely backwards.
He's instantly in chase mode. He's giving her all the power to call all of the shots.
He shouldn't try to win over anyone.
Instead, he should talk with the intent to screen her.
This means finding out they click well together. It's based on who he is but also what he's after.
It doesn't matter how well personalities fit if you want different things.
So, go after whatever you desire. Just accept the chips falling where they may. It's about being glad when a girl is in your life (and not remorseful if she leaves).
Screening isn't just about having the right mindset. It goes far beyond that with direct action to take to implement it.
However, active screening works best for those who are experienced.
I can't state this strongly enough. The ceiling for screening is huge.
At the highest level, you're meeting a girl and banging her in your car 20 minutes later. Yes, that can and does actually happen. It's just difficult to pull off by faking it.
It helps to have the abundance mentality on a deep level. You have first-hand experience playing the numbers game hard (while you look good doing it). You've hooked up with enough women to quickly tell if she's down for a fling.
You have the killer instinct to make a move at any time.
Of course, this won't be relevant for most guys on this site. Fortunately, you can still screen effectively for what you want.
Before we get into how exactly to screen, you'll want to know how much to do.
If you screen too aggressively, you can turn away girls who could have slept with you.
An example of this is sending her a picture of your junk. It's a quick way to get an immediate yes or no, but it's not helpful for most guys.
Thankfully, there's a solid middle ground.
It's about being upfront about who you are while letting her know you're a good time. You're a guy that she knows will be awesome in bed. She sees you're fun by how you act and hold yourself.
Even though you may be hard to "nail down," she knows that being with you is exciting. The girl is welcome to come along for the ride.
It's better than pretending to be looking for a serious relationship. So many guys do this and then bail once they get sex. You'll have more success over time with the honest approach, anyway.
I slept with nearly 20 women this way in my early 20s. It was a balance of screening and building a genuine connection. This way, I wasn't turning off tons of women by being too aggressive.
At the same time, I was still setting the tone for what kind of guy I was like. I wasn't being deceitful. They know I'm not one of their "orbiters." I'm like the asshole jock that nice guys hate (while still being a nice guy).
Whether you want to screen a lot or a little, you should have a baseline for how you present yourself. This is about having the right vibe and tone that we just mentioned:
You don't chase women. You're great in bed and enjoy flirting. You don't need it to work out with any one girl.
If you're a virgin, you won't really be able to pull this off. However, it's a specific mindset you can build towards (as you go out with more women).
You take action screening by flirting different amounts.
It's like foreplay, but you do it from the moment you meet her.
If you're at some college party, you'll want to rizz her up hard enough to pull her to a bedroom.
This doesn't mean being super aggressive from the get-go. You approach this in stages. Flirt with her and see if she's receptive. If she is, that's a green light to do more. If she's super engaged in you, flirts back, touches you, etc., then keep going.
If she's not, she may just be shy. Keep going, but pay attention to her body language.
Tell her you want to find a quiet place to talk. She'll understand. You can start making out and continuing with whatever she's down for.
This is the basics of how to screen.
You should always be doing this to some degree, even if you don't often have women in your life.
Know that if a girl seems to like you but turns down your advances, it doesn't mean you should drop her. If she wants to go on a date first, then do it (if you want to). She'll know you're not one to wait around forever.
Women screen out guys constantly.
I'm not just talking about relationships.
A lot of women just want sex. They want somebody that turns them on and is good in bed. They want one-night stands with no strings attached.
I was unfortunately oblivious to this fact when I was young.
I wasn't even that young, either. Part of it was believing I needed to go out for a few dates first. The other part was letting performance anxieties get the best of me.
Regardless, don't make the same mistakes as me. Take advantage of the girls who want you now.
Remember, screening is your mindset and the behavior that stems from it.
When you lack experience, you just screen for compatibility.
After enough time, you'll start screening for sexual availability. This means quickly filtering out girls who have no chance of sleeping with you.
To reach this "level," you'll need to have enough experience with dating and hooking up.
Your appearance should also be maxed out (or close to it).
There's no point to screen heavily if you haven't slept around much or don't look good. If you're a virgin, you should just focus on having sex more than anything else. This can mean being in an actual relationship.
Even if you've been with a few women, you should keep yourself open to as many girls as possible. You obviously shouldn't mislead chicks or bail as soon as they put out. Instead, be open to casual dating and just having fun.
So many girls out there want exactly that (especially if you're on the younger side).
When you meet someone new and attractive, you immediately start screening them.
Don't be impacted so much by her positive or negative reactions. Just enjoy the conversation as you discover if she "clicks" with you or not.
You're filtering out those who don't want what you do.
It's a solid mindset for life in general. It's a mentality worth having with others too (like potential friends).
You drop the hope that others like you. You don't need the approval from others. You accept who you are, even if there are things you would like to change. This helps draw others to your life who are worth having.
Remember that it's a numbers game.
If you can find one attractive girl that likes you, you can find 1000. It's just a matter of looking good enough and putting yourself out there.