ROOSTERDATING

May 21st, 2023

Jerrad Ross

Stealth attraction is a popular term in the PUA scene, and wanting to use its supposed benefits through texting is understandable (if) its claims are true.

We'll get into what it is, how you could do it through text, and alternatives that may be better suited to you.

Stealth attraction texting is a method to discreetly gauge and build a woman's interest in you. It's based on regular stealth attraction of making small "escalations" with women to see if she likes you without getting rejected. The same replies through text, with assessing interest from her responses.

However, it's essentially just another childish PUA term. Yes, gauging interest from a girl is a good idea, but that's not some powerful technique- it's just a fundamental part of meeting women.

The other part of gradually (but overtly) building her interest isn't anything new, either. After all, anyone would continually build a connection with someone they continue to spend time with (through text or not). 

• The main (though obvious) way is to tell if she's attentive to you. Is she usually the one to text you first?
• Another example could be saying, "We should go do x sometime." It's not a direct invitation, but it can help indicate interest. However, they could just be polite and agree without actually wanting to go out with you.

• In person it's just using the basic ability of assessing if she's receptive to you. If she's closed off or defensive, move on.
• Building up interest in-person is pretty straightforward. There's nothing unique you should do other than having you both enjoy the time spent together. The only example of something to do is just to progressively flirt with her, and seeing if she enjoys it.

There's a lot more to this "technique" than just some dating 101 principles. This is where it goes off the rails. 

Here's what's wrong with the regular "stealth attraction":

• Involves a lot of touching. Without clear, obvious signals, it is not worth doing any to a stranger.
• It leads into the idea of psychological manipulation. This is clearly wrong for many reasons. Also, it's not like saying some special words in some unique way could ever change her interest in you.
• It's filled with fluff. It suggests (in person) continually monitoring your body language, maintaining eye contact, squaring off to her, etc. The last thing you should do is go through a mental checklist instead of focusing on the conversation.

The good thing is you can't fully apply this "technique" to texting since you're not in person. What remains is just the basics of texting a girl, and it doesn't offer anything new.

As with every other seduction technique, the primary flaw is how it assumes women can be "gamed." As just mentioned- the intent to manipulate is bad enough, but the woman's interest in you will never be dictated by your pickup technique.

All in all, none of it's really worth the effort. It's similar to negging with not being worth the effort. 

The worse part is that you may be perpetually friend-zoned by a girl. No reason to indefinitely spend time talking to a girl with the hopes of it leading to "something more" one day.

Years ago, when I was just starting to go on dates with women (but still inexperienced), I decided I would like a legitimately hot chick to be a friend. It started to seem exhausting or wrong to always be pursuing every girl at every chance available.

I didn't want to be someone who always needs to be chasing every girl I can. I figured the guy I ultimately wanted to be wouldn't always be so thirsty. That I should be able to turn down any number of opportunities without affecting how often I get laid.

The only thing is- it didn't exactly work out that way.

I certainly developed that attitude, which is great and something every guy should strive for. The problem was discovering that the 2 girls I wanted to be friends with had become interested in me...

Maybe they liked the change of pace, talking to a guy who's much more casual with them and not just trying to hook up. Not sure. 

Being completely oblivious in my old nature to their signs of interest, I just stayed friends with both of them until we gradually lost contact. It did at least work out for one of them, having set her up with a buddy of mine. They've been together for 7+ years now. 

This leads to the question of whether girls can be friends with guys. I don't really have an answer to this. In social circles or work circles- absolutely. However, that's not what people generally refer to when they ask this question.

I generally lead to the side of no. There are always exceptions, but in most cases, it doesn't work out. One person almost always has some interest in the other. Also, though I set out to only be friends, I doubt I would've turned them down if either had leaped up and started kissing me.

The best alternative to stealth attraction texting is not using any "technique" at all.

Understand the significance and value of texting, but realize there's no secret method.

That being said, there are some basic guidelines for what you should or shouldn't do:

• Don't waste time texting someone if they've already turned you down.
• Don't waste time thinking up the perfect response. The more time you invest talking to a girl, the more it will sting if/when she moves on.
• Try to not go too long without suggesting to hang out.
• Don't be dependent on the outcome. It's easier said than done if you lack experience. Still, you should want to text like a player.

Be direct yet casual if you want to ask a friend out over text. Carry a laid-back but fun attitude with most of your interactions with her.

While there is some use or truth to stealth attraction texting, it's on things you should already know (which is mainly common sense).

Use texting to build connection, have fun, and flirt- all while not taking it too seriously or wasting too much time.

Just try not to get caught up in this misleading advice, whether it's stealth attraction, scrambler technique, the cube routine, or the latest fractionation seduction.

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