What Does it Mean When a Girl Approaches You First?

August 22nd, 2023 

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It's understandable to not be sure of the intent of a girl who approached you. However...

In most cases, a girl approaching you first means that she likes you. She's going against social norms to give you a strong sign that she's interested. Yet, the context is important. Her connection to you and where the approach happened influences this. Sometimes she is just being friendly. 

In this article you'll learn:

A girl who is talking to a guy she approached.

The Meaning of Girls Approaching First

It's unfortunately rare to see a girl approaching a guy. 

When it does happen, everyone assumes that she must like him. A lot of girls will then be hesitant to approach anyone they don't like. They don't want to send the wrong message. 

This fortunately benefits you. It's not a socially expected or "normal" thing to happen, so there's less speculation.

It's great, but the context is crucial. There are still scenarios where a girl can approach you without any romantic interest...

The meaning comes down to where and how they did it:

  • Was it a cold approach in a random public setting? 
  • Was the person from school or a co-worker?
  • Did it happen in a group of people you indirectly know (like with friends of friends, at a party, etc.)? 

If a girl cold approached you, she most certainly likes you. This means she approached you in a public setting without having any prior ties to you (or who you're with). Unless she just asked a brief question and left, she will likely be interested in you.

You should be a bit more cautious if this girl is from your school or work. There are many reasons why someone would only want some information. Did she just ask about you or some project/assignment?

The most common approaches girls make happen through an indirect group. Since there is less certainty here, lean on these additional signs/questions below:

  • Was the interaction brief or rather long?
  • Did she seem distracted or engaged in the conversation?
  • Was she asking questions about you or something else?
  • Could she just have been introducing herself to new people?
  • Did she laugh and smile a lot (or even touch you)?
  • Has she approached you once or multiple times?

You don't need a certain number of the signs to apply to know if she wants you. The conversation you had should provide all the context you need. 

Just ask yourself if she wasn't remotely interested... would she have acted the same way?

However, one caveat is that some women are warm and friendly to everyone. You've probably met someone like that before. They may call you "hun" or "love" and seem affectionate to whoever they're talking to.

You should be able to differentiate between interest and kindness, but it's worth keeping in mind.

A girl approaching a guy in a subway.

What to Do When a Girl Approaches You

When a girl approaches you, she's probably able to control the flow of the conversation.

This can provide some relief if you don't know what to ask or say to her. It's understandable if you get a bit nervous or anxious if you haven't dated much.

The first step is to match her interest and engagement level.

You don't want to blow her off and seem cold or distant. You'll want to show that she has your attention and that things could progress further.

Try not to overthink it though. Any chats with girls should always be in the moment. Your primary intent should be to enjoy the conversation. It will eventually be a ton of fun (if it's not already).

After you talk for a while, escalate it by asking for her number.

Despite her approaching you, there's no guarantee she'll ask for your phone number (even if she likes you). This girl may just be laying out some heavy hints for you to pick up on.

The most efficient way to ask her out is to just say something like:

"We should chill sometime."

It doesn't need to be more complicated than that. She wants you to ask her. It doesn't really matter how you do it.

After she agrees, bring out your phone and ask for her number.

A illustration of the type of girl who can approach a guy.

What Type of Girls Approach You First?

If you've been approached by many girls in the past, you may notice a bit of a theme going on.

It's hard to put your finger on it, but it relates to their overall vibe and confidence level

It's not exactly bad. It more reflects how they have a lot of dating experience. 

These women may also just seem more independent overall. Approaching requires them to be bold and have a level of assertiveness. You wouldn't typically expect some shy, timid girl to be able to approach a guy. 

When girls ask for your number instead, it can mean they're more promiscuous than others (we'll get to that in a moment).

There's nothing wrong with it, though. If you haven't dated much (or at all), a girl like that can teach you a lot. You should focus on getting as much experience as you can. 

She may not be your dream girl, but there's only one way to find out. 

Best thing is that she's taken away any guesswork. You know she's interested which makes everything much easier on you. Consider setting up a date with her as soon as you can.

An illustration of a girl and guy who are about to hook up.

Does a Girl Approaching You Mean She Wants to Hook Up?

Unless she's your colleague, her approach considerably increases the odds of a hook up. It'll increase even more when you account for flirting, teasing, or touching.

Still, it's best to assume she may want something more than a fling.

If you met a girl you genuinely like at some party, it could backfire trying to lead her into some bedroom to hook up.

Your best bet is to keep talking and try to get a read on her. Does she seem like a girl who would ever do that?

Over time, you can get very good at detecting who is and isn't down to fool around.

If unsure, you can play it safe for now and just get her number. If things are going really well, you should still go for first or second base. In the future, learn how to best ask a girl for a hook up.

Getting Approached is Awesome

If you're still uncertain about the meaning of the approach a girl made on you- then comment below.

If you're here because some girl recently approached you, then go ask her out asap (assuming you like her). If she's engaged with you more than once, the the odds are even better (that she likes you).

It's truly awesome being approached and hit on by some new chick you've never met.

It's validating as hell and can be quite motivating, too. Best of all, she's the one putting herself out in the open. You don't need to try and gauge interest or engage in playing games. It's entirely up to you to decide what to do next.

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