What Should Guys Do After The First Date?


If you're new to dating and just went on your first date, it's normal to be uncertain for proceed. 

Fortunately, these after-first-date rules will help any guy make the best moves to keep her interested

We'll review these "do's" and "don'ts", what important steps you should take, and what clear signs mean she wants to meet again.

Essential Rules for Guys After the First Date

The first thing is to wait a day or two after the date to text her.

You don't want to seem super desperate to see her again.

It's pretty standard protocol for what to do. 

However, you should understand the significance of it. 

If someone really likes the person they went on a date with, the timing of the first response will not impact the odds of a second date.

There isn't some magic recipe or means of pushing the right buttons to get a woman to like you.

Waiting a couple days is ideal to leave the right impression, but keep the bigger picture in mind of what's important.

The message doesn't need to be anything but chill and casual. One option is to bring up something funny you discussed on the date. The rule is to keep it simple.

Don't overanalyze how the date went

If you're a young man and this is your first date, it can be difficult to not analyze how it went. 

Try your best not to continually play the date over in your mind

Make sure to learn from any opportunities, but know that there will likely be many more first dates in your future (that's a good thing). 

You now have proof that girls like you and can go on a first date with you. That's the success. Any else that comes after is a bonus.

Avoid discussing any long-term plans

Even if the date went well and she seems interested in you, you want to hold back a bit. 

You don't want to chat with the assumption she'll stick around after. It's otherwise going to be a turn-off and seem a bit weird. 

Let it just naturally develop to that point

Even if you feel you really like her, it's typically best not to show your hand. This isn't to make her chase you. Instead, it's about wanting to seem like a man who has options.

You also want to seem like a man that can and does get action. You don't want to be the "safe" option but rather the "cool" guy. 

Even if you consider yourself as someone who falls into the "Mr. Nice Guy" trope, you can still adopt the best qualities of the "Jerk" or "Chad" and make it work.

Don't be dependent on the outcome

Even if you didn't do anything "wrong," some dates just won't work out. It will be out of your control. So, just like how you shouldn't discuss future plans, don't start envisioning them either. 

It can be hard to not be emotionally impacted by a rejection. Your mind will try and look for reasons why you got turned down. 

Recognize after that it's happening and strive to move on.

You do want to look at ways to improve yourself and how your dates go. 

Just remember that there are incompatibilities out of your control.

You'll probably be dependent on the outcome to some degree. 

Understand that statistically, this girl is likely no better than the next. There will always be a better person around the corner (if you're willing to look).

Avoid excessive texting

You don't want to be the guy who endlessly blows up a girl's phone.

Even after waiting a couple days to message her, it's good to additionally give her some breathing room between texts, too. You shouldn't feel like you need to text her good night everyday either.

Again, these aren't super strict rules, but it's advice you should ideally be following.

I've dated girls who weren't big texters yet were still very interested in me. I assumed their poor responses meant a lack of interest, but it didn't always mean that. 

Maybe it was some girl version of a pua tactic; who knows. Regardless, these dry texters still wanted to hang out and have fun.

Casually reach out to her once you've let her internalize how the date went .

What Should a Guy Do After the First Date?

The first thing is just to decide if you really like her that much....

As men, we're conditioned that it's cool to be a player and have sex with as many women as possible.

There's nothing inherently wrong with that (it's certainly fun). Ideally though, you should be doing it with girls who want the same.

Unfortunately, it is not easy

It takes time and experience to reach that point of recognizing (and sleeping with) women who only want casual sex. It's a bit of a chicken and egg problem. At the very least, it's something to keep in mind.

This isn't some lecture on morals, either. 

Know that as you get better with women, you won't be on the receiving end of breakups or rejections as much. Pick people you actually connect with if you're looking for a relationship.

Continue talking for another few days

Chat for a little while before setting up the second date. 

There is no hard and fast rule, but waiting a day or two to text is pretty standard.

Remember, if she's talking to you after that first date, she already likes you

You don't have to waste endless time chatting, but it's good to develop the interest she has in you. This is especially helpful if she has any doubts.

Suggest hanging out and doing something fun

The first date is meant to be very basic (like for coffee or drinks). It's intended to gauge compatibility.

The second date is to loosen things up and get to know her better. 

Doing something like mini-golf, bowling, or a wine tasting can be fun. This is great for getting her comfortable enough around you for the next step.

Consider having her come over

This is a good time to move things forward to the next step (after you've met up twice and have continued talking for a while).

This means inviting her to come over to your place. You can go to hers if there are logistical issues (like she doesn't have a car). 

To this day, most of the girls I've hooked up with have been at their place (or their parents).

I personally like to move things toward sex around the 3rd date

It can depend and change on different factors, but it's a good idea of what you should ideally be doing as well.

It balances building a connection with a person while not wasting too much time (if things don't work out).

Signs She is Interested in You After the
First Date

You should be able to tell her level of interest after the first date. However, it's nice to be able to recognize other signs that she likes you:

  • She's the one to initiate contact after the date
  • She responds quickly to your messages
  • She brings up potential future plans together
  • Her messages are playful or flirty
  • She starts sending you pictures
  • She starts asking deeper questions about yourself

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