If you're feeling frustrated or even "doomed" that you'll never get a girlfriend...

Take a breath.

You will get one. I guarantee it. 

Maybe you're a bit of a late bloomer, but you will find someone to date after you commit yourself. 

The first step is identifying your shortfalls. What exactly is holding you back. We'll go over many common obstacles and a game plan for how to fix each.

1. Their Self-Esteem Holds Them Back

I get it. Your self-esteem is low because you don't have a girlfriend.... yet you don't have a girlfriend because your self-esteem is low.

It's like some cruel trick God is playing on you.

I'm no psychologist so I'm not going to go heavy here, but the best thing in my experience is to just start stringing some wins together. Start building some momentum.

An essential element of this is to appreciate the value of taking action. If you're putting yourself out there to find a girl, recognize how huge that is. It's difficult as hell to do that. 

If you need to lose some weight first, celebrate every pound you lose. 

That sort of thing.

We can't always control the outcome. If I went and approached 5 girls at the mall right now, I may get rejected by all of them. It doesn't mean I did anything wrong, as they may already be dating or not interested for reasons outside of my control.

So while you should be objective about improving things in your control, you need to see the value in taking action. That's the hardest part. 

For a more fundamental change in your outlook, I encourage you to check out How to Be a Chad.

2. They Put No Effort into Their Appearance

On average, men believe they're more attractive than what they are.

It's the one aspect of self-esteem that may do more harm than good (in some instances).

It's best to assume you're a point lower than whatever rating you are on a 10 point scale. So if you think you're an 8, it's best to assume you're a 7.

The thing is, there are always ways to improve your attractiveness. I have a handful of quick updates in my Male Glow-up Guide.

This is such an essential element. 

It's also something that needs input from someone else. You can make huge improvements quickly, but you need to know the right ones to make. 

Ask a friend for help (even better if they're a girl).

3. They Don't Put Themselves Out There

Women aren't going to fall in your lap. 

Even very good-looking guys can struggle to get laid if they don't actually go out and try to meet women.

As discussed in the Campus Hookup Guide, one of the best ways to meet women is to work at a nightclub or bar. You don't have to try to "get in the zone" to talk to girls as they'll always be around you. 

If you're of age and need a job, look no further.

Other than that, use dating apps as much as you can. If you need help with your profile, I have an eBook designed specifically for losing your virginity through online dating.

Essentially, make sure you get the best pictures possible and hit the numbers as hard as you can.

4. Their Standards Are Too High

Relating back to the first two points, you can't expect the best-looking girl if you don't look the part. 

Dating apps are especially competitive. You need to either start cold approaching or accept that your first girlfriend may not be perfect.

... which leads to the next point.

5. Their Overall Experience is Too Low

There's so much you learn from the entire process of meeting someone new, to texting, to dating, hooking up, the relationship, etc.

If you have zero experience with it, it means your confidence is lower and you don't know exactly what to do. 

It's okay that you're in the position that you're in. However, there is an essential period of trial and error where you need to figure things out.

If you're clueless about how to interact with girls, you need to start talking to them. You will figure out what to do and over time, your personality and composure will grow.

6. They Follow Misleading Pickup Advice

Many young guys who are inexperienced with dating end up congregating online. They turn into "pickup artists" and end up doing more harm than good.

The thing is, those attracted to these sites are typically the less socially developed types. I know because I was one of them and use to spend time there.

It also led to the creation of this site to combat that misleading information.

All the "seduction" type advice of believing that any woman can be "gamed" puts men on the wrong path. 

While this is a big topic in itself, you should always go the obvious route: 

Be someone who's genuine.

Crazy right? But you don't need to play games or any of that crap. 

It doesn't mean you shouldn't have some basic rules (like don't blow up her phone with texts), but to just not overthink everything.

Also, it doesn't mean you should or shouldn't be a "Nice Guy." Being nice has no impact on whether you can get a girlfriend or not. It's purely about whether she's attracted to who you are.

Beyond physical appearance, this is the most important element

However, this works best when you have the qualities form both the "nice guy" and the "jerk." You check off all the right boxes.

This means you come across experienced. You seem like someone that has a lot of options. You're not needy and are capable of moving on to another girl whenever.

At the same time, you're not some aggressive type who raises some red flags. You are still "boyfriend material" and someone she'd consider introducing her parents to.

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