dating advice

how to ask out someone you barely know


At some point, everyone's had a crush on somebody they didn't know very well (or at all). 

It can be frustrating when you want to be able to talk or text them, but you're afraid it may seem a bit weird or too "out of the blue" for them to be receptive.

You need to just be friendly, but direct. You can say something as simple as: 

"hey I'm Ross, we met at Jessica's place the other night." 

Then, after getting to know them a bit, say something like: 

"we should chill sometime soon if you're down."

It doesn't need to be more complicated than that.

We'll go over different ways you can ask them out and how to get to know them more easily (so they'll be more likely to say yes). 

We'll also touch on some different scenarios depending on how you got their number.

Try to Get to Know Them Before Asking Them Out

The best way to get to know a stranger widely depends on your circumstances of how you got their number in the first place.

You can start by talking about whatever have in common. 

Since you already have their number, you can bring up the place/party where you met or the people who introduced you.

If you got their number through a friend, talk about that friend. Ask how they met them or share a funny story about them.

Keep in mind that the conversation can easily be a bit stiff. 

As you don't know each other very well, it's less likely for the chat to be relaxed and casual.

Don't worry too much if it starts this way; it's completely normal and doesn't necessarily mean they're not interested in you.

Illustration of a young man texting.

How Many Texts Before Asking Them Out?

Don't spend too much time texting to get to know them. 

Odds are reasonably strong of it not working out (as with any one person).

Having around a dozen text exchanges is ideal before asking them out. 

The timeframe matters little regarding how quickly you go from saying hello to asking them out. It's okay if you text her everyday, as the conversation won't last that long overall before you suggest hanging out.

It can be a quick chat over an hour or a couple of days. Just make sure to not wait too long.

What if You Don't Know Them at All?

It will be a bit more difficult if they're a complete stranger or someone you barely know.

In this scenario, send them a message through social media first

This way, they can see who you are and what you look like. 

From there, continue messaging them on Facebook (or whichever platform you used) up to the point of asking them out.

If they agree, you can switch to text or ask for their number if you don't have it already.

What to Keep in Mind

Make sure to acknowledge the fact that it's always going to be a numbers game

In addition, the fact that she's a stranger means things are even less likely to work out.

Avoid getting hung up on the outcome, as often it's out of your control, and the experience is still valuable.

Make sure to always be working on your appearance. Since you want to meet someone- you should ideally take advantage of online dating, tinder, cold approach, etc.

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