How to Lose Virginity in your 20s (easy guide)

April 17, 2023

Not knowing how to lose virginity in your 20s can certainly be frustrating. You're not necessarily super late to the scene (depending if you're in your late or early 20s), but you may be fearful that you'll be the last of your friends to lose the V-card.

Having it loom over your head at all times can be bad enough, but there can be many fears and anxieties which can crop up too:

  • What if the girl I'm with laughs at me?
  • Should I tell her that I'm a virgin?
  • What if I'm a virgin until I'm 30?
  • How will I know what to do?
  • What if I have performance issues?

We'll answer all these questions, easy steps to do it, and how to better view and approach the stigma surrounding it. By the end, you'll have the right perspective and know which exact steps to take.

While this guide is primarily aimed toward guys, we'll also touch on some points relevant to women.

Being a Virgin in Your 20s

It can be both frusterating and overwhelming when you're trying to lose your virginity. 

Online dating is the most realistic and easy way for someone to lose their virginity in their 20s. If your goal is solely to "get it over with," dating apps can provide the means without much stress or effort. Virtually anyone can set up a date by the end of the week if they know what they're doing and put in the effort.

The Importance of Appearance

Taking care of your appearance is crucial when making a good impression on potential dates. 

This includes grooming, dressing well, proper hygiene, having the right hairstyle, and more.

Regarding entering the dating scene, I usually always recommend prioritizing your looks through consistent diet and exercise to build muscle mass.

However, that can take a lot of time. This guide is aimed at helping you lose your V-card quickly, so we'll just focus on the basics. Fortunately, you can make many quick appearance improvements that can make a big difference in little time.

If you look, you'll feel good. If you feel good, you'll get good results.

Online Dating as a Virgin

Losing your virginity through the help of online dating makes the process much easier. It's also a great option for getting laid when you're broke.

The reason is that you can meet up with less attractive people with relatively little effort.

Remember- the goal here is to lose your virginity (and not to find your dream girl).

You can still try to meet someone cool at the same time, but assuming you have minimal experience dating in general, you may find this the best first step.

Using Your Best Pictures

This is by far the most important aspect of online dating success. Make sure you use the absolute best pictures you have of yourself. 

If you don't have many, go take them. At a minimum, you should have at least one or two that aren't selfies or mirror shots.

Profile Information

Keep it simple. Include basic information about yourself and hobbies you may have. A typical part I would include is:

"I'm looking for someone cool to hang out with who's able to have fun without needing to hit up bars or clubs every night."

That sort of thing. Doesn't have to be some long essay, but ideally have at least a couple small paragraphs.

What to Say?

It's always best to keep this simple as well. 

If you're using a regular online dating type site, just say something along the lines of:

"hey- I thought you were cool and wanted to say hi"

Another option is skimming their profile to mention anything relevant.

You don't want to waste time reading through a wall of text of each girl when most won't reply. However, if you can do it quickly, you will have better odds of a response back.

Chat from there, asking them questions about themselves, sharing relatable info, and just act like a normal human being. It doesn't have to be complicated.

After several exchanges, ask if they would like to hang out sometime. 

Make sure not to bother investing too much time into any single conversation, as you should expect ~95% to not go anywhere.

Where to Go on The Date?

Going out for a drink is an easy option if you're of drinking age. Another one that is quick is just grabbing a coffee with her.

It's important it's a public place that she'll feel comfortable in. No need to overthink it, but remember to avoid places like theaters where you won't be talking to her much.

What Apps to Use?

I suggest using at least 2. 

After having the best possible pictures, hitting the numbers hard is the most important thing. Using multiple apps/sites to do this will increase your odds of success considerably.

Which exact apps will be your best option will depend on where you live. What's most popular for your age group can change depending on your country or even state.

On average, Tinder will likely be your best bet. Following this is usually Bumble, OkCupid, and POF. 

Should You Hire an Escort?

One option that a lot of guys prefer due to the easiness of it is hiring an escort.

It may seem a bit extreme, but it's not unreasonable when you think about it. 

Losing your virginity is, especially for men, something they "just want to get over with."

There's rarely much care about it being some special event, even more so when you're already well into your 20s.

Ultimately, the option is up to you. I would recommend at least trying online dating for a while first (with this right approach).

Would I let the escort know I'm a virgin?

I don't have any experience with this, but I don't see why not. She'll probably be able to tell anyway, and I'm sure she won't mind at all.

a man approaching a sleazy looking woman

How to "Move Things Along"

This can undoubtedly be a bit nerve-wracking for many young guys.

If you have already spent a fair bit of time with her, invite her over when you have the place alone at home.

Having a drink or two can be a big help in taking the edge off. It can also greatly help alleviate any anxiety or potential performance issues.

If you've been seeing her for a while (which I assume would mean you like her), suggest spending a day in the city and grabbing a hotel. She'll certainly get the hint too.

It's best to just start making out, then escalate things from there. No reason to overthink it.

Should You Tell Her You're a Virgin?

Whether online dating or not, it's likely best to avoid it.

At the very least, don't announce it on your profile or first date or anything.

If you really want to, share that with her after things open up a bit. Remember that since she'll likely be around your age, there's a good chance she could be a virgin as well (or may only had one or two partners).

If she's a virgin, it won't really matter. Also, try not to worry if you think she has a high body count. It doesn't mean she'll easily know that you don't.

cartoon young man

Losing Virginity in Your Late 20s

The process should be the same regardless if you're in your early or late 20s.

Some guys in their late 20s may want a real relationship as much, if not more so, than losing their V-card.

If that's the case, approach online dating the same way, and know it's okay if you want to take it more seriously and extend the time between things.

Still, it's crucial to still meet up on the first date asap, as many of the numbers you'll get will just be of some girl wanting to chat indefinitely.

Losing Virginity in Your 20s as a Woman

This will depend on what you want.

  • You may feel like you want to get it over with quickly, as it's weighing on you more and more each year.
  • At the same time, you don't want to just hook up with some random online.
  • To further complicate it, you may not even want a committed relationship at this point in your life either.

The social circle is probably the best bet for most. However, there's no reason why online dating couldn't work. 

Treat it like you're looking for a relationship. 

That way, you can vet the attention of those wanting a one-nighter yet still have the option to continue things if you meet someone you like.

Final Thoughts

Being a virgin in your 20s is nothing to be ashamed of.

Society has made it a way bigger deal than it needs to be. Fortunately, there's no reason why you can't get it over with in a fun and easy way. 

Despite seeming quite competitive- be glad online dating exists. Things were certainly more challenging a few decades ago. 

As long as you prioritize having good pictures and playing the numbers game, you have as many hookups as you want. The next step you'll likely want to work towards is getting your first girlfriend at 20, and that post should help get you started.

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