When Should You Stop Texting a Girl? (10 Critical Signs)

07/04/23

Many young men try to keep every "door" open with as many girls as possible. Unfortunately, this can waste a ton of time. There's no reason to pursue girls who will never be interested in you.

You'll want to be able to pull off the bandaid and drop any girl who's not worth your time.

Before we get into these 10 critical signs, here are the rules to follow:

If she's giving off 1 of these signs: It might be temporary due to busyness or having a lot on her mind. Keep an eye on it, but know there's no reason yet to stop talking to her.

If she's giving off 2-3 of these signs: Stop talking to her. If that's too difficult, at least try to reduce engagement significantly. Don't text her for a bit as a test. If she never contacts you or rarely does, it's a clear sign to cease texting with her.

If she's giving off 4+ of these signs: Ghost her immediately. Don't respond to any text messages. She's obviously not respecting you or your time. She's not worth the effort.

So, when should you stop texting a girl?

1. When the Girl Doesn't Often Text Back

Whether you're being ghosted or she's just not texting you that much, it's a clear sign to move on.

This isn't about a lack of responses for a whole day or so.

She might legitimately be preoccupied, so giving them some room is smart. 

Some girls also want to ensure they say the right things to someone they like. So, they put it off until they're free to message them.

But if she's consistently not texting you back, it's obvious it's from a lack of interest

You should stop messaging her.

2. When the Girl is a Dry Texter

Someone who dry texts lacks meaningful replies and is never engaged in the conversation. There's one-word answers with no enthusiasm or interest in texting. 

When responses do happen, it ends up taking forever.

As I mentioned in After First Date Rules for Guys, some girls just happen to text that way. 

Guys do it too for that matter. However, this is an exception and not the rule. The odds are that if a girl acts this way, it's because she doesn't care much about you.

3. When She's Constantly Being Flaky

It's a strong sign of disinterest if the girl you're texting consistently agrees to meet but then bails.

Some hesitation can be understandable if you got her number through a dating app. 

The problem is when she's flaked more than once.

If you forgive more than most and are willing to give her another shot, have her come to you. 

She can be the one to make an effort instead of having to drive out to meet her wherever. This will be the deciding factor if she's actually serious enough.

An image of a girl sitting on a block of ice with flames all around her. Image represents her hot and cold interest in a guy.

4. When Her Interest Wavers Hot or Cold

If a girl's interest in you regularly switches between hot and cold, you'll want to consider dropping her.

In this case, there's a strong chance you're her "backup" as she's texting someone else. 

She just goes to you when things aren't going well with that guy.

If sex is what you're after, then there is nothing wrong with being a rebound. 

However, you should be aware of exactly what's happening. Otherwise, you might get hurt if you think there's something more between you two.

5. When She Seems to Have Friendzoned You

Some girls just want an "orbiter." This is when a girl enjoys texting a guy but is not attracted to him.

You may think things are going really well, but you're making no headway as she doesn't see you that way. This is why setting up a date sooner than later is vital. 

You can quickly vet out those who aren't serious.

Depending on the girl and the amount of dating experience you both have, this can be difficult to gauge if it's happening.

She may be more hesitant than others if you're both rather young. She may also have never dated before. So, you shouldn't always assume this is the case.

Either way, keep this in mind if she's also giving off any additional signs.

6. When She's Overly Needy

It can be draining and unsustainable if she exhibits overly clingy behavior or demands constant attention.

This can be evident if she's young or hasn't dated before

It should be something you can detect early on, but it may manifest later in a relationship. If this happens, it may be better to be more gradual instead of abruptly stop texting a girl.

Unless it's under extreme circumstances, you shouldn't ghost anyone you're already dating. 

Just be more cautious in this case with how you end things (if you deem it necessary). Treading carefully is best for her sake (and yours).

7. When The Girl Just Seems Incompatible

Incompatibility means she's either vastly different from you or just wants different things (like friends with benefits vs. a relationship).

I've hooked up with women who were opposite me in many ways. 

So, it's certainly possible if you're looking for a quick fling or a casual relationship.

Still, even a FWB relationship is more likely to be successful with two compatible people.

If you're looking to date, you should be able to tell if you're suitable for each other early on. It'll be evident, so you shouldn't hold much doubt about it. Take the initiative, and move on.

8. When The Girl's Seeing Someone Else

If she's seeing someone else, it's an obvious red flag. However, there's generally nothing wrong with a bit of competition.

It depends if the other guy she's seeing is some new interest of hers or a full-on boyfriend.

Basically, if she's sleeping with him (or you assume it's likely), it's time to cease texting with her.

So many guys think this is a legitimate angle worth working on. They play the "friend" card, yet they would still pounce on any opportunity with her given a chance.

Playing this "long game" isn't worth it

Be honest with yourself about whether she's an actual friend or not.

9. When The Girl is Way Less Experienced

This sign may not matter to you, as it might not hold as much weight as the other.

That being said, it can strongly apply if you have a lot of experience with dating.

I've had this happen a few times, all through online dating

I met genuinely nice girls who were cute and really liked me. Unfortunately, we weren't a good fit as I was looking more for "fun" while they wanted a relationship.

There is more responsibility in dating someone much younger than you.

They'll likely be more dependent on you and more vulnerable emotionally. Since there is a strong chance she wants to date, decide early on if you'll want to avoid that.

Check out Pros and Cons for Dating a virgin if you're considering going through with it.
On the flip-side, check out Signs she has a high body count if you think she's very experienced.

a girl texting on her phone in a church.

10. When She has Different Values or Beliefs

Similar to being incompatible, differing values or beliefs (particularly with religion) can be enough reason to not text her anymore.

This is particularly important if you want a relationship

From my experience, women who are theists are never halfway about it. I'm not talking about casually asking one day what her beliefs are. This girl make it clear on day one that they're religious.

God is essential to her and her family. It influences everything she does.

I've been a bit envious of these girls' family dynamics. In my (somewhat limited) experience with them, they were always tight-knit and quite wealthy. Their families were big, too.

However, something always seemed "off" about them. Weird even. Maybe it was just jarring due to a difference in upbringing.

Either way, it's something to mull over if you're serious about dating her.

Is it Okay to Just Stop Texting a Girl?

It may seem rude to stop texting her abruptly, but it's a standard way to tell someone you're not interested.

When you're direct, it can sometimes put her in an awkward or uncomfortable position. The other option of lying can easily backfire, as most women are good at picking up on it.

If you're honest and like to do what you feel is right, go ahead. Just realize that despite the brutality of it, ghosting is normalized. 

It's not something to necessarily feel bad about. It's a common and acceptable way to communicate a lack of interest.

Stop Texting Permanently or For a Few Days?

You will want to stop texting permanently if a girl has clearly shown that she doesn't care about you.

There's no reason to continually text girls who don't respect your time or want to see you.

If you're having trouble accepting that you need to ghost her, give it 6 months. It will at least provide a chance that her circumstances may change for the better.

Best of all, you likely won't care as much by then (as you will likely have moved on). So, any future interactions can be dealt with more logic than emotions.

How long is too long to not text a girl?

If you like a girl and she's genuinely into you, you shouldn't go more than a week without texting.

Sporadic on-and-off texting won't progress things forward (to a relationship or anything).

Whether your goal is just sex or to date her, you'll want to move quickly with it. Exactly how soon can vary depending on your experience level (or hers), but it's still crucial to not waste time. 

Most women you'll pursue won't end up leading anywhere. So, why always spend months building a connection with everyone?

What Will She Think When You Stop Contacting Her?

It's expected that she could be a little confused at first. Unless you were the only one initiating texts, she'll wonder why you suddenly stopped talking.

However, it may be that she won't even notice that she's been ghosted. This then further supports your reasons for doing so.

Assuming you've actually tried to set up a date (and got turned down), she'll soon realize why it's happening.

Even if you gave her some BS excuse (like how you're just really busy), she'd probably recognize what's going on. After all, practically every girl has done it to a guy before. It's normalized.

Most of the time, she'll think exactly what you want her to:

You want more than whatever she's giving you; being friends isn't enough. You're not a pushover or willing to be indefinitely friendzoned.

She'll recognize that, and it's a good thing (regardless if it leads anywhere).

A photo of a young woman texting in her bed.

Will she miss me if I stop texting her?

Even if she intentionally friendzoned you, it's possible that she'll miss you. It may be she took you for granted and will come to realize that.

It's not worth getting your hopes up, though.

There are a lot of factors at play here.

These include your experience level, how long you've been texting each other, if you've actually spent time with her in person (even at a party or school), and if she's ever shown any interest in you.

Even if she does miss you, it's probably not enough to change anything.

The worse thing you could do is hold out hope. You'll have to stop texting a girl at the drop of a hat, even though it may be difficult. Fortunately, it will force forward whichever outcome is most likely.

The tactic of stop texting a girl for a bit is best for sending the message that you won't be taken advantage of.


There is one related thing that has happened to me a lot. You may have noticed this already or will at some point down the line.

So, after I've been texting a girl for a little while, I'll be direct and suggest hanging out. By the nature of it, some of them aren't actually serious enough and ghost me soon after.

What's interesting, is how many of them will reach out again after many days, weeks, or months...

With one girl, she reached out over 3 years later. 

This circumstance was a bit different though. She was a barista and had first recognized me as I went through the Starbucks drive-through (with my girlfriend). I don't think she knew I saw her, but a few days later she sent me a text suggesting we go for drinks.

I don't know what changed. Perhaps being with another attractive girl gave me some credibility as boyfriend material. Who knows.

As I got better with women, this happened more and more.

When they reached out, it typically was for a hookup than anything else. I'm pretty direct with what I'm looking for, so I typically screen women who want a serious relationship.

So, they keep me in mind as someone they can have fun with. They understand how there are no strings attached with me. Then, when their circumstances change, they hit me up.

The point here is to be able to move on with any girl, while always still being friendly and honest. You never know what may change in the future, so it's best to "end" things in the best possible way.

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